Into the Looking Glass

January 31, 2009 | Category: Mother to the First Power

I took 3 boys to lunch at the local diner today, and it freaked me out how much has changed.

Two years ago, a friend and I went to the same place with these boys and it was a riot: they needed to be entertained, refereed, cajoled. It was all: Power Rangers! Pokemon! Batman vs. Spiderman!!! Just ordering their food took top-tier negotiation skills: they all wanted to make sure that they all had the same foods but there was little they agreed on.

It was like herding cats.

That was then.

This time, they perused the menus casually. The waitress popped up with her pad.

"I'll have a half-slab of ribs," said the first.
"French toast, with bacon," said the second.
"Hamburger, medium-rare," said mine.

She came back with the drinks and each stopped to say thank you. we played a game of cards while we waited. It was clear as we went that they were each used to different "house rules", yet they shrugged it off and worked at staying in a good mood.

As we ate, they talked about the sports they were into.

"Basketball, we had a game this morning," said the first.
"I just started a new fencing class," said the second.
"I'm still doing karate," said mine.

Once we were done, they needled me for some of the penny candy by the register. I allowed each one two pieces, and no two got the same thing. The woman at the register asked them how they liked the meal.

"It was great," said the first. "Too much for me to eat!"
"It was fine," said the second. "I love the bacon."
"I liked it," said my son. "Hamburger was just right."

As we stepped out through the two sets of doors, pulling zippers up and jostling our way, the wind hit Bear's face in just a weird way, pushing his hair around and making him seem different for a second. In that flash, their three shadows seem to elongate onto the sidewalk.

Suddenly, it was three strong men looking back to make sure I was following. Their voice rough and deep as they called to me.

I blinked, the sun blinding me. My heart beating fast.

Their childhoods slipped by. It was the future. They chuckled as they hit the sidewalk, ribbing each other about how warm it seemed compared to recent subzero temperatures.

Strong, and confident, and good.

"Mommy!" Bear shouted, shrinking suddenly in a blur. His freckled cheeks turning pink in the air. "Come on, already!"

With a quick breath, they were kids again. Jogging to the car, shouting about the front seat. I reached out to hug my son, wanting to feel his body in my hands but he moved too quick.

And I realized: Already, gone. In so many ways.

The Winner is (Week 2)...

January 30, 2009 | Category: Free, Contest, Giveaway

It's WEEK 2 Here at the Corporate Mommy Speedway and again, we have 20 amazing comments to choose from (disallowing relatives, myself, spammers, and the odd sheep).

Drumroll, and...

Congratulations, REBECCA!!

Continue reading "The Winner is (Week 2)..."

Sheep!!

| Category: In My Life

That? Is a sheep. Yes, because I was jealous of Kate's sheep.

But this is a special sheep. This particular sheep, at least its image, belongs to Tim and the whole picture is so much cooler than that snapshot.

Why a sheep? I'm glad you asked. Because it is an Icelandic sheep. And today, CD gave a presentation at Bear's co-op school (he goes one day a week with other homeschoolers.)

This is notable because a) CD has never given a presentation on his native Iceland before and b) CD is about the least likely person to ever GIVE a presentation on anything. He's incredibly shy. But a couple of years ago, he took that required "Speech" class at college and didn't suck. So he girded up his loins and...

Continue reading "Sheep!!"

Buh-Bye

January 29, 2009 | Category: Not The Nightly News

I've been watching all day, waiting for the announcement.

Is that macabre?

I used to support Blagojevich. I mean, he had to be better than what we had before - right?

Not so much.

I've been angry for a long time. Not because of the corruption - but because, once elected, our new governor did something no governor had done before: he didn't move into the Governor's Mansion.

In fact, he and his family didn't even move to the capital, Springfield. They stayed 200 miles away, in Chicago. Using the government's private plane to commute - often for only a couple of days a week. At a cost of tens of thousands of dollars.

There is absolutely no excuse for a governor, or anyone really, to lobby for a public office that they have no intention of doing. And I don't care what that talking head of a guy says: The JOB IS IN SPRINGFIELD.

Continue reading "Buh-Bye"

The Sheep That Made Me Swoon

January 28, 2009 | Category: Lookie Here

You know how you do something, and you think you're all great with yourself, and then... and then... someone does it cooler?

Well, Kate gave away a SHEEP for her "C'mon along and comment giveaway."

I.Am.So.Jealous.

But she's awesome. I mean, Captain Awesome kind of Awesome. So I'll suck it up.

De-Be-Friending

| Category: In My Life

I've been spending time on Facebook lately. So, duh, what else is new? I'm still all gosh-gee-whiz about the mix of high school, corporate, real life, and online contacts all gathered in one place. It sort of feels like how the Internet used to be. Back when Gore had just pulled it out of the oven, fresh and steamy.

I have a beef, though.

An itty, bitty little beef. One I am soooo feeling funny about admitting.

Here it is: I don't get the de-be-friending thing.

One day I noticed that my number of "friends" had decreased overnight. I went looking at the list, up and down, and scratched my head. I could see who wasn't there anymore - I just didn't know why.

I started writing the person an email; "did your Facebook break? You seem to have fallen off my friend list." God saved me from making an ass out of myself by taking down the Internet before I could send it. ('Cuz God does little things like that, just for me.)

By the time systems were back up, a real-life person had set me straight. "Hun," she said. "Don't send that email. People will de-friend and be-friend left and right. Lots of people will friend you just to look at your info and then drop you again. It's the way it is. If you make a fuss, you'll totally look like a dweeb."

She said that; dweeb.

I didn't believe her. So I asked an acknowledged expert in the field: an actual college student. (Yes, free-range.)

"Don't sweat it," he advised.

"I'm not sweating anything. I just want to know why."

"You don't get to know why. It's not your 'why'."

"But they dropped me!"

"Yeah, it happens."

"But they DROPPED me!"

"What are you, 12?"

So, in my expansive research I have discovered that the no-ask no-tell policy of de-Friending on Facebook is just a long-standing bit of culture. One that has given rise to some interesting behaviors. Not to get all Margaret Mead but it started making me curious.

"So, will they re-beFriend me?"

"Depends."

"On what?" I was a little outraged. This felt like when we were voting for peer advisor, back in college. It was a perked-up job, with a patina of aloofness about it. People who wanted the the job would screw themselves if ever seen actually lobbying for it.

"If you run into them at a party or something, maybe they'll send you a friend invite again. Otherwise, it's on you."

"To do what?"

"Get closer to them in real life so that they'd want to know you on FB."

Oh. God.

I am, in the words of our beloved Indy, getting too damn old for this. Which may be the point. This is a medium originally created for college campuses.

So people you don't know, friend you. And people you do? Unfriend. And in between, well, a world that sucks too much of my time and still leaves me a little curious about the why. (Or is that just me?)

Sanitize

January 27, 2009 | Category: In My Life

Sometimes, I watch those commercials for Lysol or Fabreze and wonder if there was a product like that for life - would I use it?

Blogs seem to fall into two groups - the anonymous, outrageous ones where people are free to be exactly what they want to be and the real, identified ones which have to be carefully edited.

This one falls somewhere in between: I mean, it started out anonymous, but I wasn't very good at it. And eventually, I dropped the curtain and had to start being careful what I said.

It didn't go well at first. I though "coming out of the closet" would make me feel more free. As it turns out, I actually felt hog-tied.

What followed has been a long ramp of learning how to write again.

Continue reading "Sanitize"

It's unhealthy to be like this

January 26, 2009 | Category: Sick & Tired

You know how, when you're really sick, you can't even read? You basically slip between sleeping and watching TV?

That's been me since Saturday.

Continue reading "It's unhealthy to be like this"

Welcome to my bed

January 25, 2009 | Category: Sick & Tired

On this side of the bed, there is:
- Me (pink nightgown, ratty hair)
- Box of Puffs with Aloe
- Jar of Vicks
- iBook G4 on a breakfast tray
- Pink Razr phone (for calling CD and asking for more soup/medicine/water in the vaporizer)
- cup half-full with flat ginger ale
- eleventy-billion pillows
- remote control for television
- thermos of long-since gone-cold tea

Continue reading "Welcome to my bed"

Sniffle Sniffle

January 24, 2009 | Category: In My Life

By the time I went to bed last night, I felt like someone had poured concrete into my brain and it had dripped and hardened all the way down to my sinuses.

I may not even brush my teeth today.

As I crawl for the comfort of the bed, all I can think is.... "Nyquil, oh where art thou, Nyquil...?"

How old is old enough?

January 23, 2009 | Category: Mother to the First Power

I did something this morning that I'm still conflicted about.

We're temporarily living with one car. By and large, this means no car for me and Bear because CD usually has to be at work on the south side of Chicago before 6AM. It's a 40-minute drive but because of the vagaries of the CTA, it's a 2.5+ hour commute on public transport.

However, this morning CD's destination turned out to be about a mile away. He needed a ride, though, because it's colder than a witch's uh whatever - in Idaho. And uphill both ways.

Continue reading "How old is old enough?"

And the winner is.... (Week 1)

| Category: Free, Contest, Giveaway

I want to thank all y'all readers, lurkers, commenter. It ain't easy coming back from the dead.

OK, enough chit-chat. Down to the nitty gritty... There were 20 unique comments from last Friday until midnight last night. I created a special template file to output the list (Oy, cuz I have to do everything the hard way?), and then blindly used Mrs. Glosser's utterly random number generator to pick this week's winner.

Drumroll, and...

Congratulations, NIC!!

See the wonderous list after the jump:

Continue reading "And the winner is.... (Week 1)"

I Hate It

January 22, 2009 | Category: Thy Wedded Life

Where we lived when I was a teenager. My room is the 2nd floor window facing left.

Before I quit my job to be a SAHM, I was constantly cleaning. A walk from the front of the house to the back could take a thousand steps. I would pick this up, sweep that mess, drop those books into the bag. Not to give the impression that all my efforts actually equaled a clean house.

Uh, no.

I'm not a neat freak. Or a control freak. All my freakishness, frankly, falls in a whole different arena.

In fact, I was a pretty unruly and untidy kid. My parents once famously shoveled my room clean while I was at summer camp. Yes, it took rakes and hoes and implements of destruction just to unearth the floor of my closet.

By my mid-20's I'd found a habitable level of discipline. "Habitable" being pretty loose, and subject to change due to mood, weather, and musical choice.

Yet as low as I go (and I can go low) - I've got nothing on CD. That man actually leaves a trail, like the Peanuts character Pig-Pen.

It's important to know where the lines are. Strengths, weaknesses, expectations, etc. etc. And with him and me, that line? It's written with a fat-bottom Sharpie around the dishes, laundry, bathroom, and heads out on a rickety rail out to the trash cans in the alley.

We argued about it, as you do. We made lists, and split chores. Even with a housekeeper, keeping the house free being condemned as hazardous living quarters was always a battle. Much more than maybe your usual kid-and-dog-and-old-house-with-no-closets one.

You can see where this is headed, right?

No more cleaner.

I am a "stay at home mom" now. That means that not only does my fair share of the housekeeping fall on me - but his, too. Because, let's face it, his mess was tossed on top of Bear's mess and all that is piled on my mess. So it takes a bottle of Lysol and a big pair of bright yellow gloves just to get down to my undies in the hamper.

I hate it.

It makes me feel less than equal and a drudge to be dragging a sponge through a spill he left behind. I grit my teeth. Every time. I shout when he calls and stew with the injustice I feel.

Sara the wonderpoodle knocked over my milk this morning and I opened my mouth and just screamed.

I know I'll get over this. I know I have to. There is no money to make this go away. And after all these years, I know I can't change him. He does the chores he does. He fetches me coffee, even when it's out of his way. He washes up the dog vomit, knowing it makes me gag. He does a dozen other things that I know take up the time that cleaning would, and usually I'm grateful. Because he does contribute, in other ways.

But the housekeeping part of this SAHM/WAHM job description? I'm having an overwhelmingly hard time coming to peace with it.

I just...

I just...

I hate it.

I WILL. Do Anything. I WILL. Teach. (Slam Poetry)

January 21, 2009 | Category: One House Schoolroom

Reading.

Writing.

For these skills, more than anything else. This is why I wake up every morning and stretch out, breath deep, and report to work at the dining room table.

My son can't (YET) read at grade level. He's 8 years old; he struggles to understand street signs and read basic instructions. All the testing in the world has come back with a diagnosis I already knew: he's wired a little different.

So we plug forward. Armed with everything they could give me and the wisdom of more. I implement and discard, press and retract. And? He can read more today than he could last week. Last month. Last Year.

I will use anything, anything, to help my son learn to read and write that doesn't kill his joy of either.

This week, I decided to bring slam poetry into our lives. I'm constantly trying to change things up and find new ways to make reading and writing and words interesting to Bear. Armed with Wham! It's a Poetry Jam! by Sara Holbrook from the library, Bear and I spent the non-inauguration parts of yesterday and Monday hopping about the house and performing poems.

We started with a call/return piece that he could easily read:

TO BE
I am
you see.
I am
what's me.
I am
not done.
I am
to be.

Since there's an odd number of lines, we went around this for 10 or 15 minutes a go. He acted out his words a little differently each time, sinking his teeth into it.

Then he flipped through the book looking for another one and found "Copycat" He absolutely loves this poem; it sounds just like a sibling fight. There's another called "Baseball Player," that he turns into a 1-boy play.

I have to help him read the poems the first few times, then he's able to read in time himself. Embellishing as he gets comfortable.

Times like this make me feel 12-feet tall. Just...12 feet tall. And mom to the most persistent, beautiful kid in the universe.

He woke me up asking if there was any other kids doing slam poetry out there we could listen to. I found some (most is laden with enough profanity to curl even my hair).

And this bit, which I saw on Def Poetry Jam ages ago - by Taylor Mali that made me feel like saying 'Amen'. (profanity: "ass-kicking" & G_d dam)

More on Inaugurations...

January 20, 2009 | Category: Not The Nightly News

Am I the only one who keeps expecting that deep voice announcing everyone at everything to break out and say "Live! From New York! It's..." ??

Mamacita has a long, cool, post full of fun Inauguration Trivia at   Scheiss Weekly

Oh, and prayers for Ted Kennedy, who seems to have suffered a seizure during the Inaugural Luncheon.

I've got a new crush

| Category: Not The Nightly News

"Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when red can get ahead; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen!"

- The Rev. Joseph Lowery

No, I'm pretty sure he's Black.

| Category: Not The Nightly News

The strangest thing happened last night. I got an email for curriculum materials for Bear, that included this picture:

You tell me, doesn't it look like they made Mr. Obama a little...well...what's the appropriate word here? It doesn't look like him, right? Right? Am I imagining this??

It just seems beyond bizarre.

Happy Inauguration Day

| Category: Not The Nightly News

Bear leaped into bed with me this morning and said "Happy Inauguration Day!!" As though it was a special holiday. And, I guess, it is.

I was talking to a friend this morning and neither of us could remember being this excited about an incoming president in our lives. Like her, I tell myself I'm being a sentimental fool - and then decide, there's nothing wrong with that. Especially not today.

"Much has been given us, and much will rightfully be expected from us. We have duties to others and duties to ourselves; and we can shirk neither."

- Theodore Roosevelt, Saturday, March 4, 1905, second Inaugural Address.

The Mall has been full since 9AM, with children holding their little plastic periscopes for a glimpse of the new president. Bear and I have the recorder whirring and we're watching every moment.

It feels like the world is changing, right beneath our feet.

It feels good.

"We face the arduous days that lie before us in the warm courage of the national unity; with the clear consciousness of seeking old and precious moral values; with the clean satisfaction that comes from the stern performance of duty by old and young alike. We aim at the assurance of a rounded and permanent national life.

We do not distrust the future of essential democracy. The people of the United States have not failed. In their need they have registered a mandate that they want direct, vigorous action. They have asked for discipline and direction under leadership. They have made me the present instrument of their wishes. In the spirit of the gift I take it.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt, March 4, 1933, first Inaugural Address.

"The American people stand firm in the faith which has inspired this Nation from the beginning. We believe that all men have a right to equal justice under law and equal opportunity to share in the common good. We believe that all men have a right to freedom of thought and expression. We believe that all men are created equal because they are created in the image of God.

From this faith we will not be moved."

- Harry Truman, January 20, 1949, Inaugural Address.

Orange Hair

January 19, 2009 | Category: Bear Stories

"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."

- Denis Leary

"We are the rainbow people of God! We are unstoppable! Nobody can stop us on our march to victory! No one, no guns, nothing! Nothing will stop us, for we are moving to freedom! We are moving to freedom and nobody can stop us! For God is on our side!"

- The Most Rev. Desmond Tutu

Every year, I sit down with Bear and listen to the "I Have a Dream" speech by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. This afternoon, as we watched it together, I couldn't help but start crying. Especially at the part when he said "...I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

"Isn't it exciting that Mr. Obama is being sworn is as President tomorrow?" I asked my son, sniffling, after the speech was over.

He didn't answer for a long moment. Then he nodded. "Mr. Obama has a good idea how to fix things. And that's why he was elected, right?"

"Right," I answered, even though my 8 year old was being rhetorical.

"I think Dr. King wanted for people to elect the good people for the jobs, no matter what they looked like. Sometimes, people ask me where I come from because I have orange hair and you and daddy don't. But I don't want you to have orange hair. I like your hair the way it is," my son informed me. "I don't want Mr. Obama to have orange hair, either. I want him to do good things for America. I think that was what Dr. King was saying."

"Oh," and maybe I was crying again.

"It's OK, Mommy," Bear patted my shoulder, after a while. "I get it."

"Yeah, Bear," I agreed. "I think you do."

Feeding the Family, on $15 a day

January 18, 2009 | Category: Family, It's a Trip

I wrote a post last summer for the Chicago Mom's Blog last year about shopping at Aldi's.

A couple of months ago, a Wall Street News reporter came looking to interview me because of it. Because writing about how to "make do" is all the rage, what with our impending (*shhhh*) recession. It's au current - trendy, even.

Me? Trendy? Ha!

As if I could be proud of this. The dire straights we face (as opposed to the dire straights we listen to while we vacuum).

This is the fear that keeps me up, tossing and turning and telling myself to dream of winning the lottery (although, interestingly, we don't play it).

Continue reading "Feeding the Family, on $15 a day"

Then he kicked him in the head

January 17, 2009 | Category: Bear Stories

Just before he turned 8, Bear started contact sparring in tournaments.

Martial Arts is all new to me - it's only through Bear's interest that I'm learning about it. And I just don't think I can explain what it was like that first time to watch some big massive Frankenchild come at my son with the intent to punch the living crap out of him.

CD grabbed my hand, I'm pretty sure to hold me back from ripping off the other kid's head and drop kicking it.

Has it gotten any better since? Oh, hell, No.

Continue reading "Then he kicked him in the head"

30 in 30 : Commenting Contest!

January 16, 2009 | Category: Free, Contest, Giveaway

The Corporate Mommy website is officially re-launched!

Opinions? Ideas? Tomatoes?

Yes, I did all the code myself. And boy, are my arms tired.

I wanted more white space, and like a dozen other things, but this is what I was able to do with my limited skills. I think it is a vast improvement, but then - I'm biased. I put more time into this than into labor, giving birth!

My big worry now is... will there be anything to read? I haven't written professionally since last August. Or personally, really. Writing is a muscle; and mine has been increasingly unused for a year due to... well... OK there's no good way to say 'Brain Infection'.

I've come up with an exercise regime to get my writing back into shape: I'm going to scribe 30 posts in the next 30 days. I don't know if this will all come back to me, or some, or none.

What would really, really, with sprinkles on top help is...feedback. Comments letting me know what YOU think.

Because of the generosity of a wonderful person, I have some $25 Amazon gift certificates to give away.

ANY LEGITIMATE COMMENT IS ELIGIBLE (in other words? no spammers, 'bots, blood relatives, or 'this is a comment' comments). If you don't leave a valid email address with your comment, then you can't win on account that Amazon sends the gift certificate via email.

Be assured: I do not collect email addresses, sell them, use them, whatever. Also? Email addresses are garbled into the code of this blog so no one can scrape them (go ahead and "view page source" to see what I mean).

This is just a little splash of gratitude and fizz to thank you for your help.

Details: I'll be giving away one AMAZON gift card ($25) every Friday for the next month to a different commenter each week.

At the end of each of the next 4 weeks (a week being Friday to Thursday) - I'll pick a comment randomly (I'll post the results here). The giveaways will happen on: Jan 23, Jan 30, Feb 6, and Feb 13. The gift cards are virtual and will be immediately sent to the email address associated with the comment.

That's 25 big ol' smackeroos just for stopping by.

So, help a girl out - get some money for those "Lost" DVD's. It's that easy.

Ready?

Set?

Wait, wait... did I say thanks for your help? Because, really. THANKS.

GO!

(PS, I still have some link-cleaning and CSS edits to do but the website overhaul is mostly done. Please let me know if you find a broken link or something looks wonky. )

Hold me, Frank...

January 15, 2009 | Category: Not The Nightly News

"Did you here about the plane?"

"Yeah! Everyone survived. It's amazing."

Little voice from the back of the van: What plane?

"The captain made a once-in-a-lifetime landing."

"I know - amazing, right?"

"And made sure everyone got off before he did..."

"There's a true gentleman for you..."

Voice from the back of the van: What captain?

"He was flying a plane that crashed."

"And he made a landing in the Hudson river, and everyone got saved."

"Then the ferry towed the plane and docked it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"True story."

Demanding voice from the back of the van: Why did it crash?

"I didn't hear."

"A bird hit it, I think. Uh, they said two birds."

"Seriously? Because here I am thinking, don't they make planes bird-proof? Hello! Hasn't anyone noticed? Birds live where planes go! How hard could this be? A screen in front of the engine... Maybe some barbed wire or something? This seems like a basic safety strategy."

"When I think of all the planes we've been on, never knowing that a seagull span us up and *poof* - it's all kinda flimsy, right?"

Demanding voice from the back of the van: A BIRD? What kind of bird? Are you telling me that you want me to go on a plane, BY MYSELF, to see Nana and a BIRD could make it crash from the sky?!? Just any old bird?!

"OK, not any old bird."

"It would probably have to be a big bird."

Outraged and loud voice from the back of the van: THEY KILLED BIG BIRD?!

"No, NO honey. A big bird - in size. Like a fat ol' duck."

"Or goose. Man, those things are evil."

"In this case, two of them, simultaneously."

"Two geese. Or two ducks. At the same time."

"Probably migrating."

"Or suicide pact. One of each, you know. And no one understands them"

"So they went out large, you know? Made a statement."

Hysterical voice from the back of the van: STOP TALKING ABOUT CRASHED PLANES, PLEASE!

"Sorry, honey. Of course we will."

"Sure."

(In a soft voice) "Interspecies dating, you know? It's still the hidden taboo of the avian world. And avion, for the matter."

"I know. Can you imagine? To down a jetliner into the Hudson, in winter, for love?"

"Kinda romantic."

"In a Romeo + Juliet kinda way. Only, you know, with beaks."

"And webbed feet."

Some random shouting kid in my car: I MEAN IT!

*pause*

"It's just no good. They'll never let us be together...."

"Hold me, Frank..."

A Bad Mommy Day

January 14, 2009 | Category: Mother to the First Power

I have a bad case of ennui.

I'm fighting a cold, and have spent too many hours in front of the keyboard. The combination has made me sore, sneezy, and unwilling to battle the little crap life flings at me.

(Bear took full advantage of this and played Roller Coaster Tycoon for about 5 hours today - so much for practicing his handwriting every single school day of 2009, huh?)

Where's the path to getting out of this hole?

It Just Doesn't Pay to Look at your Inbox

January 13, 2009 | Category: In My Life

I woke up to an interesting mailbox.

The Case of the Novice Newspaper

First of all, my daily drop from my local newspaper informed me that the blizzard warning had been dropped. OK. That's gotta be good news - right?

Except: Horrible weather still predicted. Plus they spelled it 'Bizzard' - right there in the headline. Which made me briefly wonder if, as a cost-saving measure, they fired all the real reporters and hired eager high school kids instead. Then I slapped my head and realized - high school kids would actually know how to use the spell-checker.

I looked outside. The sun is blindingly bright over an inch of fresh snow. You're batting 0 for 2, Lee. (*Updated: They fixed it.)

Continue reading "It Just Doesn't Pay to Look at your Inbox"

Paisley Jeans

January 12, 2009 | Category: In My Life

I found this old picture while cleaning up my archives. Those jeans? Are paisley.

I'll give you a minute to wipe the milk out of your nose.

Almost as bad as the fact that I bought, and wore, and thought I was COOL in those terrifying pants is that I still had them in my closet in 1998.

I can remember, grudgingly, making more room for CD. He used a bureau. I hate bureaus. I like shelves and baskets. It seems all good on paper - but in reality, he's a clothes horse. The fashion encroached, and I had to make room.

And there I was, with paisley jeans in hand, thinking: I should save these. Styles always come around again.

Memo from Above: No, Virginia. Paisley jeans will not come back. Nor should they.

I was thinking about that as I've been working.

Schooling my son, figuring out how to crock pot a pot roast (because the oven's dying), and teaching myself about RSS and Digg and Slashdot and Tags vs. Keywords and meta crawling...

Paisley jeans. Will Technorati ever be like Paisley jeans? Will StumbleOn? When Kalisa and Helen and RP and Ben (both of them) and who-all-else and I all started blogging - 5 years ago, now - "social media consultant" was a made-up phrase for "spends too much time on the Internet".

I just organized 5 years' worth of mastheads. Watched as trends came and went, as my skill with photoshop matured...

For the first time in my life, my insatiable curiosity has become a little...sated. At least around the edges. My neck is sore. My brains is stuffed.

I need a good, stiff drink.

Almost There

January 11, 2009 | Category: In My Life

Although far from done, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's not a train.

Disturbingly, I was looking at a magazine article the other day and began imagining how it would be coded if I wanted to use the layout online.

Time to take a break. And cut back on the Dunkie's. Cuz, seriously.

Oh, and last night I saw "Zach and Miri make a porno". Can I just saw that I never, ever needed to see Jason Mewes naked? Now I need an itty bitty scrub brush for my eyeballs.

13 Going on 3

January 09, 2009 | Category: In My Life

Helen has declared it "International Internet Reveal Your Horrid Teenage Years Picture Day".

It would be crazy to go along with this - and I wouldn't - but a) I happened to be organizing my backups and found some old (old, old) pictures of me that made me all nostalgic (although wondering why - the good ol' days weren't particularly good) and b) after seeing what she posted of herself, I couldn't help but have a bit of a laugh. A lot of a laugh. So, it's only fair.

Here's me, about 2 months before turning 13. It's the last time I'll be cute for at least a decade.

Want proof?

Continue reading "13 Going on 3"

Shoo

January 03, 2009 | Category: In My Life

Walking the tightrope. If you've visited lately (despite my radio silence) you have probably noticed that I'm editing live.

It's a long story why.

Don't I have a program in which to build this site before uploading? Why yes, yes I do. FIVE of them.

But Pixy, Dude amongst Dudes, hosts me on Movable Type 2.something. Pixy? Is faboo. I do not complain about MT 2.prehistoric. However, my site-building programs DO. They are ungrateful bitches, every last one of them. And reward my situation by confirming code that absolutely looks different (if it works at all) once uploaded.

So...armed with a text editor and sheer chocolate-fueled will, I have been weeble-wobbling a design. This front page is the prototype of the new site. It has not yet been propagated. Comments and archives are limping behind. But the core is here. The style sheets are lovely and simple. The layout is decided.

I would give a small kingdom (say, Lichtenstein) to be able to use American Typewriter (see Title Font on background) for my titles, Costa for my subtitles, and my all-time favorite, Optima, for my text. But it turns out that even in 2009, one can not have everything.

And I? Can have even less. Simply because I don't know what I am doing. It's my own dumb fault. While smarter folk were diving into the curvy deliciousness of CSS, HTML, and Java - I was sitting cross-legged with my massive SAN boxes while the EMC-rep crooned 'This Land is Your Land' to the data center.

So this is what I have so far. I thought it would take me 3 days to upload. It's taken me 3 weeks. And I'm not all the way there yet. But I've got my "Style for Dummies" book, a bagful of Hershey Kisses, and a half-full bottle of acetaminophen.

Yeah. Hit it.