RP, another MuNu blogger, has 2 amazing children - a girl and a boy. The girl is a little older, although they are close in age. They are close, period. Recently, he posted about how they hold hands in the car. Now he has a picture up.
I think about how my little brother and I weren't always close, but how we used to hold hands in the night when we were afraid. He would slip into my room in the dark, and sit on the floor by my bed, and reach up with his hand.
God, I miss the us we used to be.
Bear wants a sibling so desperately that it hurts. He turns friends into sisters and brothers. He begs for us to give him a baby to love.
I wish we had.
Somedays I feel like I have failed him in every part of my being by consigning him to life as an only child.
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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life
Oh no, Elizabeth. You are truly a caring, kind, compassionate, well-thought-out mom. You haven't failed Bear in any way I can see -- whatsoever!!!
If Bear doesn't have a sibling, he will be blessed with your sole love, devotion and attention -- and won't ever have to share you! That is a gift into itself...though I am sure it doesn't help the pain.
I'm sorry Elizabeth. Maybe there is a divine reason for this that one day Bear or you will see. Hugs!
My daughter begs for a baby sibling too. But I'm pretty sure I don't want another, and my partner is *really* sure, and our house is really small, so that's that.
I have to remind myself that it wouldn't just be another sibling for her, it'd be another child for us-- and in addition to everything else it would mean, what if that child pleaded for a baby sibling also? Where would it all end?
I figure, no child has exactly the family they want, and this is how it will be for ours.
This is the worry I have about our boy; I don't know if physically I could get pregnant again, but even if I could, maritally it's unlikely and financially it would be impossible. I'm with you in this boat, and I am so sorry.
I feel that way with My Kid all the time. He is SO GREAT with younger children, too (even strangers at the park would comment on it); I know he would have made an AWESOME big brother. But you know what? There are worse things in life than being an only child.
I worry for him when Big Daddy & I grow old and he has to deal with it all on his own, but I hope that my brother & sister and their families will support him when he has to face that.
I think every mother feels that way sometimes. When you love someone as much as you love your child, you want to do everything perfectly for them, but it just isn't possible. You have to consider your own needs, as well as your husband's, and you have to make compromises. It's easy to second-guess yourself after the fact, but you have to trust that you did what you thought was best at the time. And you have to forgive yourself, because guilt takes all the joy out of life.
It's possible that Bear senses your conflict over having another baby, and that could be why he keeps talking about it.
I'm an only child. I desperately wanted a sibling until I was about 8 years old, primarily because I envisioned that my sibling and I would always play happily together, never fight, and gang up on my parents together. Well, when I was 8 I went for a weekend to visit family friends - they had 3 kids. It felt like chaos to me at the time - constant activity, the parents directing the children away from whatever they were doing, and the sibling bickering! On top of that, the youngest child bugged me constantly. After that dose of reality, I never wished for a sibling again.
I think it's a case of 'grass is always greener' when you're a young child. When you get older, you realize the advantages to being an only. :-)
My husband's an only child, and there are numerous advantages. He has never complained to me about it, although I know everyone's different.
I am an only child, you haven't failed him. As a matter of fact, the positives far outweigh any negatives. (Ignore the fact that, at 40, I recently asked my parents for a sibling. I was joking, and they said, "no", anyway)
You love him and have provided love for him and made him feel loved. You have not failed him in the slightest. Honestly.
