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Decision

January 20, 2005 | Category: Family, It's a Trip



Bear thinks snow is a treat. He loves helping CD shovel and building snowmen and digging snow tunnels. He loves his snow boots and his new gloves and throwing snowballs.

Bear had a busy day yesterday, what with school and karate class and then open classroom night back at his school. By the time we all got home with a bag of Panda Express take-out at 7:30PM, we were all beat.

What I meant to say, was that CD and I were beat, and grumpy. Bear was still up, up, up. "It's SNOWING!" he announced as we pulled into the driveway. But we were spoilsports and told him to come inside. Eat first, shovel later.

After dinner, I opted to head to bed. Bear followed me with an armful of books. He informed me he was going to read me to sleep.

He told me the stories in 4 books. Reciting words by heart, making things up when he couldn't remember the words. He patted my sleepy head in between books, and took the time to stop and show me the pictures before he turned the pages.

When he was done, he made sure I was tucked in and kissed my head.

That's the kind of kid my kid is.

The day he learned about the Tsunami victims, we began remembering them in the prayers we say before we eat. That night, we were talking about what we could do to help.

Bear decided we should give the money from our change jar. When it was explained to him that this would mean no treats for a while - like gumballs and movie rentals, he looked straight at me and said "That's OK, we have a house."

I've been scared to death since talking with his teacher that something might actually be wrong with Bear. That we have somehow hurt his spirit or his emotional health.

My Bear, who pays such close atention in karate class, who loves the snow, who reads me stories, and who wants to give his gumball money to the Tsunami victims. I thought and prayed a lot about my little 4-year old miracle with the chubby cheeks and glossy red hair, who asks if he can help about 100 times a day and who's imperious at times, and impatient, and yes - even hyper.

Yes, I've spent the last couple of days agonizing about it. Talking with my friend the social worker. Observing him, looking for wounds in his soul or alarms in his behavior. And by 5AM this morning, in the pink glow of the snowy sky, I made a decision.

We're going to be OK.


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Comments


Posted by: Fredette on January 21, 2005 10:46 AM


Snow is a treat.

And Bear is just a little boy, prone to ups and downs just like the rest of us. More so at times. Don't take one person's concerns too far. Watch, listen, talk (like you have) and then shrug it off (like you are). I'm glad he's fine. He sounds wonderful.

Posted by: Philip on January 20, 2005 09:33 PM


Yes... yes, you are.

Love your blog.

Posted by: Stacy on January 20, 2005 09:30 PM


What Jen said. Every word.

Posted by: Margi on January 20, 2005 07:17 PM


Mine are 22 and 16. The doubts? They come with the job. You clearly have the important stuff - love, respect, a caring heart - down to a tee. If you can? Quit worrying and just enjoy. Bear will be fine in spite of you. He'll be brilliantly human because of you.

Posted by: Jennifer on January 20, 2005 05:05 PM


Elizabeth, you KNOW you are doing things right with your little child when they have a giving spirit like Bear. He has the right priorities...he has a house, gumballs can wait. What a kid. A bit of acting out in school is nothing. Has he hit someone with the intention to hurt? Has he screamed nonstop and uncontrollably at the teacher? I bet not. Instead, he is thinking about little Bears across the ocean, who need his treat money. Hug him tight.

Posted by: Tammy on January 20, 2005 04:59 PM