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About the boy

January 19, 2005 | Category: Family, It's a Trip



His lead teacher spoke to me at length. Like 45 minutes.

It seems that while Bear is sweet, funny, gregarious, bright, active, and curious.... since the holiday break he's also been a little - hyper.

She said that most kids come back from holidays and long weekends this way. Unable to settle down or ignoring her instructions. That even a time-out only brings them in line for about 5 minutes.

But Bear hasn't "settled down" even though the rest of the class has. That she has to get right in his face and demand his attention several times a morning. That he is using all the "works" (Montessori learning materials) as weapons (ka-pow ka-pow) against the rules. She laughed a little and said that Bear is not the only one - but is something of a ringleader.

She's been his teacher for 2 years, and really likes Bear. So I knew this was hard for her.

She asked if there was something going on at home.

All I could think was - CD and I have finally patched together a good peace, a strong path forward and faith that we're on the right path...

And now? Now? Now my sweet Bear is (finally?) acting out.

*sigh*

Post Script: Bear doesn't have ADD or ADHD or other disorders. We're pretty sure this is acting out. When he wants to, he has amazing concentration and reasoning skills and can control his behavior.


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Comments


OR... he might just be testing limits, as is age appropriate. That's not to say that he isn't affected by what has been going on at home, but as the child of two intelligent and dare I say rebellious parents, he's bound to want to challenge some of the rules (which IMO is a good thing, and while frustrating for the teacher, is a way to open a dialog to explore WHY we follow certain rules, and WHAT relationship our behavior has on those around us.)

Did I mention that my son is 'hyper' too, and his pediatrician just smiled and handed me a copy of "The Spirited Child" and advised me that it's a boy thing, this cheerful rebellion? Yeah.

What I'm trying to say here is: he's normal.

Posted by: Jenny on January 21, 2005 02:43 PM


On a positive note, at least you know he's a leader and not a follower. :)

Posted by: Terri on January 20, 2005 02:32 PM


It could easily be because you and CD are patching things up. Kids will often shell up when things are bad at home. They don't want to make trouble as they think doing so will make things worse. When the pressure is released sheer exuberance and excitement naturally follow.

I think he might be acting up, not out, simply because he's feeling comfortable and happy again.

Posted by: Jim on January 20, 2005 07:03 AM


Completely udnerstandable too. That's God's sense of humor for you.

Posted by: Jazzy on January 19, 2005 04:29 PM


Cool. Sounds like it ain't the end of the world, right? Margi's comment, as always, seem right on point to me.

Posted by: RP on January 19, 2005 02:40 PM


Or maybe he's just a boy child and relishing his Leader of the Pack status?

That's the wonder (?) of children. . .they never act (or act OUT) the way you think they will.

I have absolutely no doubt that you will handle this (as everything) with grace and aplomb. But if you need a shoulder, I have two boy children (who don't do what I expect, ever) of my own (14 & 17).

Posted by: Margi on January 19, 2005 12:14 PM


Bear's just on a different schedule, is all!

(take this with a grain o' salt, please, since I'm not there and don't really know y'all):

It's possible that Bear got 'used to' the tension in your home, and now that you have some kind of peace (plus the holidays) he's not sure how he "fits in" anymore.

Does that make sense?

In our foster kids, the first thing they do when they come to our house is act nice. Then, when they realize they are staying a while, they try to re-create the environment they had. If their parents fought a lot, they tried to get us to fight. If they were always getting in time out, they did things to get a time out. It's more comfortable for them. Change is tough, even change for the BETTER. Because you aren't sure what's going to happen next.

A montessori is probably the best place for him to act out, IMO. This should pass relatively soon.

(still got that grain of salt? good. I'm not trying to be preachy or anything, just sharing)

good luck! And I hope you don't get the Bird again anytime soon...

Posted by: ben on January 19, 2005 11:19 AM


I am sure you are right between all the emotions in the house, Bear is finally letting it all out. If things are more peaceful and content, he is probably over-joyed and zealous with tons of energy. Normal, if you ask me :)

Posted by: Eyes for Lies on January 19, 2005 11:09 AM