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While You Were Sleeping

December 01, 2008 | Category: In My Life

I'm not whining.

Just reeling.

The fallout from last summer continues to pile up.

While everyone (mostly) was supportive of me while I was "out of it", I continue to burn in real time from the after-effects.

From renegotiating debts (because I don't have the freelance money anymore) to making amends to people who feel betrayed that I missed out on some months of their lives.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it better. Some days I wake up and it's like reporting to an ongoing siege - looking at bills that got ignored and are now rimmed in red; leaving messages for people who don't call back; trying not to hyperventilate about making the COBRA payment (almost $1500/month).

If anyone has any advice, I'm listening. Because there is a part of me that is growing bitter and I hate it. I hate that there's snow on the ground and holiday cards to address and all I feel like doing is throwing my head back and screaming.

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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life
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I can give you some suggestions with the bills. If they're medical bills, call the hospital/drs. office and see if you can have some expenses reduced or completely written off. Hospitals are more likely to that than doctors, but try anyway.

Where insurance is concerned, you may want to consider hospitalization coverage only for CD, if he's in good health (but not for Bear or yourself as you would have a difficult time getting insurance coverage in the future if you dropped it now and reapplied).

As far as making amends for those who were "left behind". Tough, they can either accept you were going through a hard time or they can remain resentful. I stopped feeling bad about things like that when my own son was born. Women carry such a burden to make everyone else happy that they let their own health go. I wouldn't think about that until after the holidays.

I don't know if I offered the help you were seeking but I've been where you are.

Posted by: Maria on December 10, 2008 10:49 AM