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Me vs. Education, The Continuing Saga...
February 06, 2007 | Category: Mother to the First Power
Since Bear is both-handed, he's developed task-hand-specific stuff.
He writes lefty. He uses a computer mouse righty. His t-ball coach did this thing with his eye-hand coordination and said Bear is strong in the right eye, so Bear should try batting/throwing righty - which, as it turns out, has Bear delighted with his power and accuracy. Coach says Bear will probably develop into a switch-hitter later.
For every new activity, we have to trial-and-error what hand (or foot) will be primary long before we can even open the manual and start doing whatever it is we're doing. Bear likes to try both sides, think about it, and make a choice. And if you attempt to push him along, you get a quick lesson in stubborness.
Me? I step back. And, you know, make soup.
His stubborness is an old friend by now. And I have learned to appreciate it. That he is reading and writing at age-appropriate levels is a frigging monument to his stubborness, and the hours upon hours we have spent at the dining room table doing countless maze books and woorkbooks and tactile fine-motor-building activities - like Lego's.
So we homeschool in the morning. And then he goes to afternoon kindergarten. And I'm room mother. And I'm on the PTA. And I just hang out, a whole shitload of time.
I've noticed that his teacher, who may be a very nice person outside the classroom, doesn't seem to want to actually be IN the classroom.
She gets frustrated very easily, and snaps at the kids - even in front of me. 4 years in Montessori, and I don't think I heard any of Bear's teachers raise their voice at the kids once. She does it most days. You can hear it through the door.
Does that upset me?
Does it show?
Look, I love teachers. My first real job was as a teacher, and it's a tough gig. But that's not a blank check.
Bear's teacher isn't engaged. The school isn't engaged. And that's reflected in the fights that break out at the drop of a hat. The test scores. The attitude that pervades.
When I suggested we move to healthier cookies and bottled water for the class parties - I got PTA Boss telling me that I have to provide juice boxes and cupcakes because non-sugary alternatives 'won't seem like a real party' for the kids.
But what just sent me over the edge was when Bear came home with that little red bruise for a SECOND time.
He was standing in line, a melee broke out, and he got caught in the fallout. I looked at the red smudge and I was ready to blow like a tube of croissant batter in a hot car. Well, actually, I did blow.
So I called the principal.
Three times.
Finally I left a message that if she didn't return my call immediately, I was going to call the police and the Board of Education.
She called me back in about 20 minutes after that message. Told me that this school had a student body that was 80% elgible for aid. And that I was more used to the atmosphere at Happy Montessori, where the 'socio-econmic makeup is more affluent'.
She told me that children from lower-economic strata tend to use violence as the answer, even in Kindergarten.
Basically? She was telling me that POOR PEOPLE ARE VIOLENT.
Holy frigging crap.
THEN she said that my son should "stop complaining to his mommy about it and tell the teacher when it happens".
What the....?
He had a BRUISE. That I could SEE. And she thought she should equate that to getting the smaller portion of fingerpaint?
I mean, we tell our children to complain to an adult they trust. If he doesn't trust his teacher to give a shit then that is her failure, not my son's. (Especially when the teacher has given these kids all kind of anti-tattling lectures).
But more importantly, my son shouldn't be BRUISED. Is this a difficult concept? No blaming poverty. No complaining about WHO is reporting it. Deal with the actual problem, lady!
She asked what I wanted out of the situation, and I said I wanted a non-violence policy with zero-tolerance that was enacted and enforced. I said, maybe if these kids had higher expectations, they would rise to them.
The Principal informed me that I clearly didn't understand poor people.
I was so furious when we hung up that my next step was the Board of Ed. But when they returned my call, they told me that the prinicpal of Bear's school had announced the next day a new program of community partnership to end violence and bullying in the school.
I said I'd like to volunteer.
No on has gotten back to me.
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