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Humanity

April 20, 2006 | Category: In My Life



I've been running around the last few weeks volunteering for anything I see.

Which is how I am going to spend 7 hours on Saturday at a zoo, setting up a charity thing.

Yeah. The zoo. 7 hours.

Clearly, I need medication.

I thought it was the weather. The burst of spring flowers. The warm sunbeams. But I was wrong.

The last 5 years is begining to unwind. Really.

Not the way I expected it to, either.

Not in a few weks of abject misery and then "sproing" ....All Better!

The house is still a wreck. CD is still the only one making attempts at daily dishes or laundry. Bear's lunch is still being made on the fly 5 minutes before we run out of the house. I still watch too much TNT and Lifetime.

On the other hand, Bear and I have had a few adventures now. And each afternoon we run errands. The other day, the high school's drum line was practicing in the park and we pulled over for 20 minutes and listened. That would never have happened before.

The winter coats are at the cleaners. The library books are returned. I've started a new project (for money). I only cry every few days, instead of on the hour. Bear and I are planning to visit 5 states this summer in the Stupendous Mommey-Bear Road Trip.

Last week, I was agonizing to Dee about all the monumental screw-ups I've made since hanging up my laptop.

She cocked her head. "You're just human, Elizabeth," she reminded me.

And that got me. Humanity. Flaws and all. How unexpected.

It's hard to admit, but I really thought that because I was so good at the "Ruler of the Corporate World" thing that it made me somehow... super-competant. Because mistakes there could cost millions of dollars or people's jobs, I lost tolerance for them - especially in myself.

So I had all these superhuman ideas of how I would be as non-working person. Even though the entire world, you, warned me different.

Michele hoped I would find some light - and I think I have. (Unfortunately, it shows up the dirt on my kitchen floor.) But it is here. It is why I could go back to the Cathedral. It is in the daffodils my son picked for me. It is in the lunch I am about to pack for him. And it will follow me as I volunteer at the zoo on Saturday.

Thank you for believing I would find it.


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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life



Comments


Glad to see you're enjoying some of the stay at home ness things. We've pulled over many a time to watch the local high school band practice. The girls love it.

(Of course me, I'm about to start work again...)

I really do think every once-professional mom thinks that their life at home will be different.

And for those who can afford some serious help, I suppose it is. For the rest of us...it's shocking to find out we're pretty much just like every other stay at home mom out there; trying to get the laundry done, the kid fed, both of you out of the house, and once in awhile pick up enough to see the flooring. It's harder than it looks, that's for sure.

Posted by: Krisco on May 1, 2006 12:40 AM


I just hope to God you're writing a book, because that's soooo in the cards for you. Seriously.

Posted by: Lucinda on April 27, 2006 06:33 PM


Elizabeth! Hooray for you! I'm so glad to read this entry. I'm glad to hear that you're relaxing some.

Remember, when you're 95, you won't remember or care that the house was messy. Neither will Bear. You both will remember those dandelions, though.

Keep it up!

Posted by: paige on April 20, 2006 04:26 PM


You're back! Welcome back to the land of humans, Elizabeth. Let the adventures begin!

Posted by: Tammy on April 20, 2006 10:30 AM


You don't need medication. I think you've found a natural remedy. Hugs to you.

Posted by: ieatcrayonz on April 20, 2006 09:47 AM