What to do with a Sunny Thursday

March 30, 2006 | Category: Family, It's a Trip

1) Cry a little and yell at husband for no reason I can remember

2) Feed child a fruit rollup

3) Let child watch Pokemon on his portable DVD player. Cry a little more

4) Freak out about all the undone things, the disaster of a home, the paperwork, the nagging sense that back at Mega - things are falling apart

5) Catch the last half-hour of the Charmed Piper and Leo wedding episode while re-printing the very last months of the family calendar (the old one runs out in ... oh,... 48 hours)

6) Decide enough is enough and head into a long, hot shower (Digging up somewhat clean towels and making way through landmine path to downstairs drier for clean clothes)

7) Grab some stuff, don't let self panic about money, breathe, take 3 Ibuprofens

8) Buckle child in car

9) Make it to McDonald's at 10:31AM. Bastards have stopped selling breakfast. They agree, after much begging, to sell us some sausages and juice and french fries. Decide this counts as a meal

10) Have a picnic in the parking lot listening to a souther fried rock CD and arguing the benefits of Megatron turning into a good guy on Transformer Planet

11) Meander up and down the mall. Duck into the dollar store for cheap craft supplies. Duck into Marshalls for kid underwear, socks, and t-shirts

12) Drop off Blockbuster movie, buy phone charger for new cell phone, explain to Bear why it is not nice to call the cashier "old"

13) Visit with Elia for a few minutes to wish her well on her vacation. Let Bear cry on my shoulder at the thought of not seeing her for a couple of weeks

14) Pull into the do-it-yourself car wash. Vacuum the hell out of the interior and rake out all the detrius

15) Zip Bear into a knee-length bright yellow slicker, drop 8 bucks of quarters into the machine, and run hell bent for leather out of reach. Cheer him on as he scrubs and sprays everything

16) Use cloths meant for drying car for drying kid

17) Head to park with bag of bread heels and scraps to feed the ducks. Gently correct Bear's duck-feeding style as he windmills his arms in gigantic swoops and then beans Mrs. Duck on the head with a partial loaf of stale French Bread

18) Sigh of relief when Mrs. Duck appears irritated but not concussed. Allow Bear to join a herd of like-sized little boys up and down the playground on the understanding that we are leaving in 5 minutes

19) 2 minute warning, given 5 minutes later

20) 1 minute warning

21) After 20 minutes of frustrated "time to go's", shout Bear's full legal name and to COME HERE in Icelandic, firmly

22) Try not to grin at sweaty, grinning boy who presents himself begging for more time. Must act like responsible parent and get child to his nap

23) Arrive home, unpack car, tuck child into bed with 27 bazillion stuffed animals and pillows. He's asleep before I leave the room

24) Breathe

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