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Merrily, Merrily
March 28, 2006 | Category: In My Life
(As I slip back behind the keyboard)
Last Friday my soul was officially sucked out.
I signed up for Unemployment.
It took more trips to more government offices in one week than I have ever, in my life, done before. It was hours and hours over 4 days... waiting for my name or my number or my turn. It was bad fluorescent lighting, worn chairs, metal tables.
Funny how I have read so many descriptions of it and heard second-hand but I was still surprised as I walked along the thin-pile grey carpet at what I experienced.
In the meantime, I have quietly been trying to put my pieces back together.
Some sweet souls may suspect that I really, really miss having minions to boss around. After all, I was once teased as being the Evil Queen of the Empire. (As a joke. Really.) It's probably true. Let's face it, as minions go, Bear is a much better Emperor. ("Mommy! Make me a peanut butter and honey sandwich! With raisins! Uh... please!")
There's the added aspect that this is spring break from his school. I have been filling the hours with tons of activities - trips downtown to the museums, library, zoo and crafty things like starting the seeds for this summer's garden and painting home-made magnets.
It all sounds so good and yes, we have wind-flushed pink in our cheeks and we hold hands and Bear announces, as fill up his milk cup or fork over the extra 5 bucks for the additional exhibit at the museum that I am the best mommy he has ever had.
But in the shadows, don't tell....I feel utterly inadequate, all around. I catch my reflection in the mirror, in a window on the train. I look away, slightly repulsed. This is me?
I keep expecting CD to look me up and down and dial up the hotline for Wife Swap.
Did I mention that the house is a wreck?
The family calendar I publish each year is about 3 weeks past deadline. The dishes are piled up in the sink.
But the days are begining to pass a little easier. I think.
Merrily. Merrily.
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