How tough. They don't tell you about all the agonizing you'll do in the baby books, do they? I think you're doing the right thing- Just look for ways to boost his confidence during this tought time. Concentrate on his strengths and maybe talk about the things that you and your husband have trouble with so that he'll know everyone has weaknesses... Just my two cents. :)

I am actually surprised that, in this day and age, handedness or lack thereof is such an issue. I thought we'd figured out a generation or so ago that left-handedness or ambidextrousness was not, in fact, a liability and is simply a difference in the way some people learn/process information. If Bear can come through this understanding that he is just fine, I see it as an asset. I didn't discover untill I was an adult that I could draw with both hands... and had a distinct style of working with either hand. What if someone had noticed that as a child? Wouldn't it be neat to see what I could do with a fully-trained left hand?

I think ALL kids should be given the opportunity to develop fine motor skills with BOTH hands, and then they can choose which is more comfortable for themselves. I mean, really, give ALL kids the option to use either hand.

I guess that would make the educational process more complicated. What a shame.

Handedness is important in karate only if that is the testing system that his teacher's use. They are probably testing his ability to follow directions, or remember what he has been taught. All good skills, mind you, but if he is performing the moves correctly, and if that is what they are stressing in their teaching, then, fair enough. There are martial arts systems that put less emphasis on the memorization of forms exactly as taught. There are pros and cons to each approach. Based on my experience with martial arts, if he has mastered the essence or intent of the move, that is far more important an achievement than specifically which side he is using. What is more important is that you know how to do the moves with power and grace, and that you can make your body achieve the goal you want it to. It matters not at all what side you use to achieve that goal.

I think your son sounds like a very neat little boy, and it's too bad that things aren't going perfectly for him right now. That school sounds pretty intense....

Hopefully he will understand that we can't all win all the time, and that he will get a yellow belt if he keeps trying. Sometimes that's a good lesson to learn, so he can be strong in situations where you and CD can't protect him.

(I hope that didn't come off as judgmental - God knows I'm no expert on childrearing. But I didn't learn that lesson until I was in my late teens, and at that point asking my parents for help was out of the question, you know.)

And, on another note, I'm left-dominant ambidextrous and was told to use my right hand. Thank God for word processors and badminton partners who understand why I switch hands every few seconds.

You're a great mom. No answers for you, but I think it's a wonderful lesson to learn that the things worth doing sometimes take a very long time and a lot of effort to master and achieve recognition for.

Good luck to Bear.

Maybe you *should* have a chat with the karate instructors. Unless there's a compelling reason why his forms are "handed", I don't understand why Bear isn't advancing. After all, this is for his enjoyment, right? My Karate instructor was a lefty who taught all of us to do the forms as it was comfortable for us...

As for the school, you must do what you think is right, including both taking their help and refusing it. Go with your gut and don;t be afraid to say "Stop!" if you think it's getting to be a bit much.

Let's hope this weekend is another good one :)

I think you are doing the right thing to let the school help him.

I didn't speak up the other day because of everyone else's overwhelming comments to the contrary. I've seen early intervention help with a *wide* variety of problems, many times eliminating the need for future assistance. I don't think you can go wrong with allowing your child to get extra help. You can always pull him out of a program if something isn't right about it. You can't ever go back in time and get help earlier.

Best wishes to all of you. I think this will really help Bear.

My 5-year old son Brown has part of Bear's problems. Brown is a leftie. A somewhat ambidextrous leftie, but only somewhat. Eating, writing, hitting and throwing a ball, sword fighting with his siblings - all left-handed.

Problem is, the rest of the world is mostly right handed and Brown wants to to everything the rest of the world does and he wants to do it how he's shown to do it - with his right hand. Which most times, doesn't work for him. He was reduced to big, watery, sad tears the other day because he couldn't write the number 2. Broke my heart. He couldn't understand how to do it with his left because everyone was showing with their right. And if he tries to do it with his right...utter failure.

I'm trying to teach Brown to self-advocate. "Brown, *this* is the hand you use to write with. You need to tell your teachers that."

I showed him how to write a 2 with *my* left hand. Joy!

Maybe have a talk with the karate instructors? Explain that Bear is ambidextrous and that they need to be clearer to him which hand to use. Or is handedness important in karate? Can he pass the test still if he just uses what's correct for him?