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Asleep at the wheel

May 24, 2005 | Category: Family, It's a Trip



CD's still out of town, which means I'm not getting any sleep.

No. Not "awwwww". Not sweet.

I lay in bed thinking thinking thinking ... the demon gerbils in my mind don't stop. "Was that a noise? What if there's a robber?! I've never been good with physical confrontation. If it's a robber what will I do? Oh, dagnabbit. I'm not in good shape, I'm overweight, I've got high blood pressure, what if something happens to me in the night? Bear doesn't know how to call 9-1-1!!!"

Yeah, need some kind of medication, yo. I get that. Years of this self-imposed opressive sense of total responsibility has meant that I get myself twisted up around the axle sometimes in a really bad way. I forget to let go of those things I have no control over. Or maybe just forgotten how.

In less freaky news, I'm making paella for dinner. I bought a clothspin for Bear's nose. A little aromatic hardship for Mr Snarkypants won't hurt the boy. Not my job to make his life a walk through the park. No, need to prepare him to live in a world that does, from time to time, STINK. And? I need some seafood. I need it now.

I'm also on a househunt. More on that later. Althought I can promise you right here and right now that mine is not as interesting as Helen's - who is bidding nearly $1Million American dollars on a lovely fixer-upper outside London. *swoon*

I haven't been this tired since Bear was a baby. I think I've had a total of maybe 12 hours sleep since Saturday. The gerbil in my brain spinning, spinning, spinning.

"Nick and Jessica, Good God. Are they a sign of the apocolypse? Is RP right? Should I balance my retirement portfolio more heavily at the expense of Bear's college fund? Am I a bad mommy if I have the dry cleaner hem Bear's karate pants? Gotta find a new family dentist. Are the long-term needs of the tsunami victims being addressed? I have to get my expenses submitted, have to, have to...."

Someone, please.

Kill the damn gerbil.


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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life



Comments


I'm not so good at sleeping alone, either. I usually bring the cats and dogs into the bedroom and if I'm lucky that works, and I can get some sleep. If that doesn't work, I just leave the lights on and try NOT to fall asleep. If that doesn't work, I just stay mostly awake untill the wee hours of the morning, worrying about things I can do absolutely nothing about and if I have no real worries, I make some up. I love having the house to myself during the day, but at night, things just seem different.

Posted by: Laura on May 24, 2005 11:26 PM


Take a look at mostlyrisible.com's entry for today. 10 rules guaranteed to get you through this day and tomorrow and then some!!
Find yourself a great house and go for the life you know how to create!!
Hugs!

Posted by: Azalea on May 24, 2005 03:02 PM


I don't have gerbils. I have anxiety and it wakes me up almost every night these days between 2 and 3:30 every morning. I understand and share your pain.

As for Helen's house hunting, you should see how little you can get in and around London for $1 million. It'd make you cry.

Posted by: RP on May 24, 2005 01:24 PM


I totally understand the gerbil fears (both at work and at home). I sleep with a stuffed bear AND a stuffed dog when Angus is away. Seriously. I do. I have no shame.

Or I do, but not when it comes to fear of sleeping alone. Hey-I live in a house that's 150 years old. It's guaranteed that someone died in this house at some point in time. YOU try sleeping alone in those circumstances!

And seeing that $1 million dollars in print nearly made me wet myself. Eeps.

Posted by: Helen on May 24, 2005 10:39 AM


I suggest a glass of wine and a good book at night, so that your mind gets lost in a different place until you are so drowsy you fall asleep. Or a pot of warm tea, a hot neck warmer thingie and a good late night movie. Then when you close your eyes, imagine yourself at the beach with a summer all to yourself, just to relax. Where would you go the first day, what would you do? What would your cottage look like . . .

Posted by: Philip on May 24, 2005 10:38 AM


Gerbils are a pain in the arse, they can drive me absolutely nuts. My fix is to go to sleep with the tv on, it's the only thing that keeps my mind occupied and blocks out all the little noises that might be the boogie man. Hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep tonight.

Posted by: cursingmama on May 24, 2005 09:40 AM


There's an attack school for gerbils? Got to get me some!

Your gerbils and my gerbils should do lunch. Preferably at a place where we can drink margarita's and our sons will be welcome to bring the chaos :)

Posted by: Elizabeth on May 24, 2005 09:18 AM


I hate being in the house alone. Whenever my husband goes away, I set the alarm, check under the bed, barricade the bedroom door with a heavy chest... And you know what? I still can't sleep. If anyone ever did break into the house, I'm pretty sure I could subdue him with the sheer force of my anxiety. I have trained attack gerbils. They're vicious.

Posted by: notdonnareed on May 24, 2005 09:15 AM