May 20, 2005
Acing a Job Interview with Corporate Mommy
Managing programs means hiring and firing (although I prefer the phrase "catching and releasing") a LOT of people - most contract, but a goodly number of permanent, too. In preparation for changing hard drives, I recently cleaned out over 1000 resumes from my archives. I figure I've interviewed about twice that many.
And I'm tired of dumbasses and wasting my time.
So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a cheat sheet. Right here. Right now. How to ace it. No shit.
Ready?
1) The (damn well better be) clean, easy-to-read resume.
What's important: Job experience. I want to know exactly what you did. Don't try and make yourself look like you could fit into ANY job by being vague and don't pump yourself up. DO NOT LIE. I've seen more resumes and talked to more applicants than I can remember. Whatever you're hiding? I'll smell it. I will. We've offered $165,000 a year to a guy who honestly told me (when I asked) that he didn't have a college degree and blacklisted many others who tried to fudge it with "Internet Diplomas" - Just Be Straight.
What's also important: training, mentoring - show me you have an active interest in what you do for a living and have grown into new roles and greater responsibility. Start bullets with an ACTION verb ("Audited" "Analyzed" "Managed") and keep the sentences SIMPLE and easy for me to scan.
I don't give a shit: how old you are, your grade point average, your college interscholastic softball team membership, your fraternity, sorority, your culture, your religion, or your netflix wishlist. I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to have dinner sometime, and unless it expands your skill list or your character as a possible employee, it couldn't matter to me less. I don't care how long it is, either. 1 page. 3 pages. Whatever. Just as long as you know that I have maybe 15 seconds of interest.
2) The Phone Interview. (If you get one).
What's important: Do you fit? That's it in a nutshell. It is not a popularity contest. I have a job that needs filling and your resume makes it seem like you have the skills to do it. My goal here is to confirm that and then get a read on your character to see if you'd be a good fit with the team. You could be Albert Fricking Schweitzer and I might not hire you because what I really need is a John Fricking Glenn. So keep the charm to a dull roar, OK?
Show me: That you can listen. That you make sure you're clear on the question before you answer. That you aren't out to prove you can do anything I ask, but to give honest, thoughtful answers. That you have a good work ethic, flexibility, and an understanding of the industry. I have hired many, MANY people who didn't have the exact skills I needed but I knew would learn on the job and had a willingness to do so.
Questions I am going to ask and the right answers:
Q) Tell me about yourself.
A) Do NOT give me a hard sell. Give me TWO MINUTES on you in a nutshell. Practice this, and I mean that. Tell me how you got interested in the industry we're in, tell me how you've grown as an employee over the last 2 years or so, tell me that you're interested in continuing to grow. Tell me the most obvious bits about your personality (For example: that you enjoy a good rapport with your current team, in part because you are all golf enthusiasts who sometimes grab a tee time together on Saturdays) and why you want the job you are interviewing for (For example: You're looking to expand your Unix skills and focus on Data Storage solutions).
DO NOT TELL ME: your age, sexual orientation, weight, marital status, religion, or anything else I am not legally allowed to ask.
Q) Tell me your strengths/weaknesses.
A) I want to know that you can handle intense pressure, that you're honest, that you'll manage my expectations, that you will ask for help when you need it, that you are on-time in every way, and that you can handle yourself in a matrixed world (in other words, you aren't a status hound and are comfortable working for your peers). If it's true, tell me you like to be the go-to guy. But you better be able to handle being on my speed-dial if I hire you with that in mind.
There is NO CHEAT to your "weakness", so don't quote me some page in a 'How to get hired' manual thinking you've got the system beat. The right answer is something you're working on - for example, if you never used to take all your vacation days and ended up frazzled at the end of the year but have learned to schedule those breaks in advance now and are doing much better (but your references BETTER tell me a similar story about you being a workaholic). Or that you got specialized doing a certain group of tasks and had to cross-train yourself to a broader skill set.
DO NOT TELL ME: Don't boast, brag, lie, or put down ANYONE in order to show me how good you are. If you go to negativity, I will never hire you.
Q) Tell me about how you handled some recent challenges.
A) I want to hear you tell me about how you respond to being asked the impossible. I want to know how you managed the situation - either by prioritizing, or getting help, or working to pare down expectations or by pushing back with a better idea. I want to hear how you handle a changing work environment and world - tell me about how you adapted to having half your team off-shored, or how you took your own initiative to keep up with our trade, or how you changed the way you work (work patterns, different technology, or something like that).
STAY POSITIVE. Show me that you understand the world, business drivers, and your responsibility to be a good contribution.
DO NOT TELL ME: Anything that shows you will lie, sneak, or politicize your job.
and, finally, 3) The IN-Person Interview.
Show up on time in business attire that is attractive, clean and fits you. Be well groomed: check up your nose and between your teeth for God's sake. Look me straight in the eye when you shake my hand and tell me you're pleased to meet me. Have a copy of your resume available for me to mark up.
Wait for me to ask questions. Do NOT check your watch (but wear one) and turn OFF your cell phone and pagers before we start talking. I'll respect you for doing this. If you have to be out of my office at a specific time, I will not take offense if you say so.
ASK ME: about the job and listen to the answers. ASK ME: about the work conditions - travel, hardware, software, company direction, the current team dynamic, my role, my vision, my priorities.
DO NOT ASK ME: the salary, the benefits, the dress code, anything personal about me, or if you have the job.
SHOW ME: that you've done your research and know my company, its place in the corporate world, direction, and the industry.
And never forget that I am ALWAYS evaluating you. So do NOT ask me for directions to the nearest titty-bar on your way out.
And yes, that happened.
And yes, ask me anything. I'll answer, honestly. Because aren't we all tired of bad job searches??
Marinating in delicious irony - I'm an experienced corporate recruiter for a large defense contractor, and as I type this I'm waiting for a soon-to-be EX-candidate to show up for a 2:00 interview. He's 24 minutes late. Can you guess how this movie is going to end?
Good stuff - but I have an interesting take on the Salary Question. I don't do the Money Dance with prospective hires. I cut to the chase, and I like it when the guy/gal I'm talking to does the same. Why? Two reasons. First, I don't like wasting anyone's time - mine, the hiring managers I support, or the person interviewing for the position. Yes, we all know that money is not the only reason a candidate picks a company (and vice versa), but I have to know that I'll be able to at least be in the ballpark with the person I'm interviewing, and that candidate should know whether or not I can provide something close to what they NEED (because, after all, few people work for free) and what they DESERVE (more on that in a second). I'm never offended by a candidate asking about the salary, because it's an honest question. Second, I'm a firm believer in the idea that there's a war for talent going on, and in San Diego where I live and work (just listed in the Top Five Least Affordable Places to live in the U.S. by Money magazine), money gets that talent. And I have no qualms about telling my managers and company officers that if they don't want to spend an extra couple of thousand on, say, a top-tier engineering manager, they can be sure that my company's competitors will not hesitate to do so. I'd agree that the way the salary/benefits question is addressed is crucial, but IMHO it's a topic that jobhunters and hiring managers should not consider to be taboo.
Posted by Jason.I was always taught NOT to discuss salary until the company had decided they want me. That gives me a little power to negotiate, too.
Your list is GREAT. I would add:
DO NOT have any typos or grammatical errors on your resume. Even one, and it's going in the garbage. You WILL NOT get an interview from me. If you can't produce a perfect resume on your own time, how can I trust you to turn out news releases under time contraints?
I don't want a resume that's more than one page. That probably has a lot to do with my line of work. But be concise and only list relevent info.
Give me a good, solid handshake. It shows confidence. Dead fish shakes make me not even want to waste my time with you. Worst first impressions ever.
DO NOT bring your lunch into my office and eat it while we "chat." Yes, I mind. Make other arrangements.
DO NOT send me a thank you note following the interview that addresses me as "Dear Mr. Name," after I spent an hour with you and you failed to notice that I'm not a man.
I'm like you, E...I've got horror stories for days. I actually keep a file labeld "Really Bad Resumes" just for giggles. (Right next to my "Really Bad News Releases" file.)
Posted by kalisah.Excellent, Smithers! I'm way too tired for a "real" entry on my blog today so I'm linking to this as a PSA.
Posted by Stacy.Helen,
You know - I completely agree with you about a "salary range" and I think maybe I've been unfair or harsh here, especially to Suzanne's question.
Here is my experience: I ask the applicant "DO you have any questions" and they respond: "How much does this position pay?" and "What are the benefits?"
Both are fair questions, and asked WELL I'm absolutely fine with it - Questions at the end of good interview like "Is XZY competitive with salary and benefits" or "What is the salary range for this position"? (although most of the time, I'vealready told the headhunter).
Here's the problem - seriously. 90% of the time when I AM asked, I'm asked BADLY. And I immediately cross the person off the list because they've come off as mercenary and more concerned with $$$ than a good fit.
I've probably binned over 100 resumes because I felt like the applicant didn't have their priorities sorted.
I'm looking for someone who is right for the job, will hit the ground running, and get great satisfaction from being part of this team - professional success and productivity.
Let's get there first. And I alert them that I DO want to hire, I expect to wrestle about salary. Yes I do!
Just my opinion. I bet there are TONS of other managers who don't give a hoot when they're asked about money!
Posted by Elizabeth.Dude, I would so be hired by you. And I'm not trying to big myself up, I just actually do all of those things already (I even study abotu the company and the work before interviews!) I have those nailed to a T, including my weaknesses (which is, indeed, being a workaholic, and I do have references from a loony bin to prove that one!)
The one thing I would disagree with though is asking the salary. While a salary is not something that should be discussed in length on any kind of interview, I think it's fair to ask how much the range is and get an answer. Asked, answered, and move on. Never challenge them on that, never debate, just ask.
It should make you laugh to know that I had listed as one of my "personality qualifications" when I interviewed at Dream Job that I listed I had a good sense of humor. I was asked to remove that, as they don't like senses of humors at Dream Job. Speaks volumes.
And boy, if I knew then what I know now....
Posted by Helen.BRILLIANT.
Fucking brilliant.
You never cease to impress me, Elizabeth.
Always your fan, now your robot slave,
GraceD
Just reading this made me incredibly tense. I loathe job interviewing.
Posted by Anna.Madrigalia,
Absolutely. Please be yourself above all. These answers, as you may have noticed, are all "fill in the blanks" - and the truth for YOU is the right answer.
You do everyone a favor - but especially yourself - when you let your character shine through.
Good luck.
Elizabeth
Nice list; both for interviewers and interviewees. I'm in the latter role right now, so I'll take your advice to heart.
Is it possible to just be yourself in an interview?
Posted by madrigalia.P.S. I love your new celebrity boyfriend. That song is one of my favorites.
Posted by notdonnareed.EXCELLENT list! I think I'm going to print it out and fax it to any candidates I may be interested in when I make interview appointments. If they call with questions or can't answer "Yes" to the question "Did you understand the interview handout requirements?" I obviously don't need to go ahead with the appointment.
Seriously, on the flip side, there are far too many people who don't know HOW to interview (HR folks are often the biggest offenders). People get used to that kind of interviewing and are not familiar with this type. Kudos to your company for allowing the people who really know the job to do the initial interviewing. Personally, when I was in Corporate America, I was always blown away when I found an intelligent interviewer.
This list is definately a keeper!
P.S. The one resume I kept strictly for humor value was the guy who applied for a precision machinist position when the primary experience he had was in "Escort Management". No lie, I'm pretty sure from his job descriptions and job skills, he was a pimp.
Misty,
I'm always looking for good people.
Posted by Elizabeth.Hi Suzanne,
I can only talk for American Corporate (Fortune 400) experience, but no - the interviewee bringing up money and benefits during the interview can be seen as being more concerned about what you're going to get before you're even sure if you and the position are a good fit.
However, if you're unsure about whether the job would come with a full package it is OK to ask (towards the end of the interview) if the position comes with a "full benefits package" (This means: health benefits, dental, some kind of retirement, and paid vacation and sick leave).
Otherwise, the rule of thumb is that pay and benefits are negotiated when you are offered the position.
And the exception to this rule is if the person interviewing you does it FIRST by asking your salary range - and if they do that, the topic goes on the table.
By the way, if your interviewer asks, DO NOT ANSWER. Always get them to talk money first - say "I'm looking for a competitive package. What is that range here at XYZ company?"
If they ask you what you are currently making, it means that you are seriously being considered. But DO NOT ANSWER - give same answer as above.
The one who names a number first is the one with less advantage.
Posted by Elizabeth.Good one, Corporate Mommy! I would also add: Do: look me in the eyes when you interview. nd don't beg for the job. Also, I agree with the sweaty palm comment - I ignored it once, and hiring that guy was a mistake!
Posted by GrammarQueen.Are you hiring?
Posted by Misty.Ok, wait a minute. We're not allowed to ask about the salary or benefits?!?
I've always inquired about at least the benefits. Isn't that something that a smart interviewee would do?
To think. this whole time I was making a huge faux paux.
Posted by suzanne.I'd like to add: Please wipe the sweat off your palms before you shake my hand. Sweaty palms do not inspire confidence. Plus, they're gross.
Posted by notdonnareed.This really applies to ANY job seeker. Well done, Elizabeth. I feel your pain in the Catch and Release Watusi (even if I didn't do it for such high-paying jobs, I know how much it suuuucks).
xoxo
Posted by Margi.
