Ravings of a Corporate Mommy: Phone Calls You Don't Want to Get

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Phone Calls You Don't Want to Get

September 17, 2004 | Category: Bear Stories

So... it was a dark and stormy night- errr, morning. OK, it was actually bright and cool. Work with me here.

I was in my office working, door shut. CD was at his computer. He was about to head out for the day so our babysitter of 3+ years, Elia, was over and taking care of Bear.

CD's cell phone rang. It was Elia. On HER cell phone.

CD: "Hello??"
Elia: "Hello, CD? Could you come open the door please?"
CD: "Where are you?"
Elia: "Outside on the front steps."

CD found this news fascinating because Bear, well Bear was INSIDE the house watching cartoons.

Turns out? Bear was pissed off that Elia has come to watch him because he'd wanted Daddy to stay home. So while he and Elia had been playing outside, he'd waited until Elia was just out of range and then raced into the house and, yes, LOCKED.THE.DEADBOLT after himself.

The one that can NOT be opened from the outside.

Close your eyes and just imagine the Armageddon that ensued once CD had put together the scenario in his mind. Yelling? Yup. Steam from ears? You betcha. Stream of consciousness lecturing that would do an Oxford scholar proud? Aye, man! Preschooler over Daddy's shoulder into his room and into the corner for the world's most incredible time-out? Oh yeah, you know it.

But punishment just upped the decibel level. Once he was freed from the corner, the unrepentant Bear lay on his bed - rejecting Elia's attempts to talk to him and throwing a force-10 tantrum. He was kicking the wall and crying and gnashing and wailing "I don't LIKE you and I don't LIKE Daddy!!".

Oh, it was drama to beat the band here at CorporateMommy Central, my friend.

I ejected myself from the office to see if I could help.

In the den, I found CD. He was apeshit.

He stood in the middle of the room with his hands outstretched in supplication and his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just... it's just... I thought we had YEARS before he started locking his babysitter out of the house. "

He's a flipping prodigy, I tell you.

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...

That is just. too. funny. I wish you luck! ;)

B
http://daydreamdesires.typepad.com

2:59:57 PM

NotDonnaReed said...

I've learned the hard way to take my keys whenever I leave the house, even if it's just to take out the trash. My son LOVES to lock me out. He usually opens the door, though, when he hears my angry voice.

My son also went through the No Yike Daddy phase a few months ago. I think it was because I tried putting him in preschool, and he became all about the mama. He didn't want to be with anyone but me. Thankfully, we're over that now. (But still not in preschool.)

7:04:11 PM

Jim said...

Two years ago Burger did that to us. He was two at the time. We still smoked back then - outside the house only. Lovely Wife and I went outside for a smoke and Burger dragged his step stool over to the door, climbed up it and locked it.

Fortunately I managed to talk Bear through unlocking the deadbolt. After almost a half hour. When the maintenance guys from the apartment complex were already on their way over. On Sunday.

After that episode we started using the deadbolt ourselves - to lock the door open.

6:09:36 PM

Helen said...

I am not laughing at your pain. I realize this was a traumatic time involved for all involved, that Elia was hurt and your little man was very angry. I am not laughing at your pain.

I am, however, laughing at your post. See? There's a difference.

8:07:11 AM

Terri said...

We always want our children to grow up - but when they learn how to walk and talk and shut the door and lock the door, it's then that we wonder where the hell we went wrong. Thank God mine is still learning how to walk.

10:14:30 AM

Anonymous said...