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Indoctrinating Bear
September 23, 2004 | Category: Mother to the First Power
One of Bear's Godparents gave him an adorably illustrated soft-cover book of Bible Stories for his first birthday.
Since we got this, I have discovered that there is a massive industry in mangling the Bible for children.
See, in Bear's Parragon-published book not only is there a page with a pretty cartoon of Moses (who is strangely albino) with "Ten Commandments" tablets displayed to round happy (albino) people who have never spent a day in a desert in their LIVES - but worse, there is a whole NEW version of the story that I got to believe was made up late one night over a couple of bottles of Blue Nun.
And? BRAND NEW COMMANDMENTS.
Hot off the presses!
Number 8: "Husbands and Wives should love each other and be nice to each other".
O-kayyyyy then.
Don't get me wrong. Nice sentiment. And Exodus and Deutoronomy both contain guidelines that push the concept.
But - and I think you're with me on this, right? - isn't the point of indoctrinating people to have them educated in the, you know, actual doctrine?
Not just nice ideas that go well with the pretty pictures?
This book is messing with its little audience. These kids are going to grow up and head over to the clubhouse and all the other Christians are going to LAUGH at them when they try and show off their Commandments.
And how cruel is that?
So if the Commandments seemed to the publishers to be too adult for a kid then ... and this may seem radical but work with me .... they shouldn't have put them in a children's book. Not rewritten them for a "G" audience.
I'm just saying.
On the other hand, if those publishers are going to continue getting all creative with Biblical canon, they just may want to hire my 4 year old. He has the distinction, unlike some, of being both imaginative and of not knowing better -
"Mommy, Can you tell me the Jonah story again? About how the Rescue Heroes came and told him that he had to help save the Power Rangers but then he ran away and a whale named Carl saved him and then his mommy gave him chocolate and kisses and he wasn't scared any more and also he had a flashlight?"
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