(Updated!) An Unusual Circumstance

December 18, 2007 | Category: Mother to the First Power

Someone asked me if I am always so optimistic.

I decided the next time I started feeling hopeless, I would say so.

Except, I hate sounding whiny.

Well, screw it.

Welcome to this morning.

So far? It's not-optimistic day.

(Me and Bear, when he was 2)

I was looking at all these pictures over the years. The uncountable amount of times my hands have been leash, safety, comfort, steady as his mom.

Isn't it strange what we take for granted?

In about 20 minutes, Bear and I leave for my EMG appointment.

I don't like needles.

That aside, it's my second one of these so we're not exactly hurtling into the unknown. He's packing up his workbooks, and Leapster, and video iPod.

("Can you download me some new Scooby Doo episodes?" "No." "But...WHY?!" "Because I'm not paying 4 bucks for 22 minutes of 30-year-old cartoons." "Huh? Aren't they NEW?" "No, they were from my childhood." "Wow, that IS old!")

If you had told me a few years ago that there would come a time that I would hang up the corporate power suits, the modulated 'I'm in Charge' voice, and the dozens of Excel spreadsheets to be homeschooling my son in doctor's waiting rooms... I would have spurt latte out my nose.

Trade financial security for minimum payments and mounting medical debt? Are you HIGH?!?!

Heh.

It was a fanciful daydream, that featured cartoon bluebirds and sunbeams and laughter and not a dozen needles and remedial phonics.

Would I go back and do it differently?

On a day like today, I don't spend too long thinking about that.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

UPDATE

Well, we're back. Bear was an angel - he winced a bit when the needles went in me but otherwise remained calm and quiet and wrapped up in his Leapster.

The good news? Other than some borderline carpal tunnel, I have no (permanent) damage from the Raynaud's/Lupus.

Which isn't to say what hurts doesn't hurt when it hurts - 'cuz, yeah. It does.

BUT once the flare eases, my arms and hands are find and dandy thank you.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Hate to say, but its true. I'm all glowing and optimistic again.

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