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Thud
March 28, 2007 | Category: In My Life
That sound you just heard was me falling off my high horse.
Ouch.
I think what I need for those special occasions of moral indignation is a much lower high horse. Sort of a medium-sized one.
Good thing I only climb up on it a few times a year.
*cough*
So! Back in the land of normal (or whatever it is we live), I am no more sure today than I was a year ago that I am doing what is right for Bear - especially educationally.
I look back on my decision to quit (which was also a decision to pull Bear from the posh Happy Private Montessori school - being that money is finite), and I wonder what the ramifications will be in 10, 20 years.
He still mentions Happy a few times a week.
Although he loves being homeschooled, I do take him over to the Bad/Public Kindergarten on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for gym, music, and art classes.
At home, I have no lesson plans, no over-arching vision. I just sit down with him a for a couple of hours (or more, or less) each day and we work through things - lots of maze books (for fine-motor, which is his personal challenge) and writing books. Sight word flash cards, brain puzzles (matching sight words, 'what's wrong with this picture'?).
Some days we work with math problems, or money, or the clock. Some days I remember that science is good and we cook something or make something explode.
Some days the house is messy and we listen to music and clean the worst of it. Some days there's TV for him as I write.
Some days we study a time or a person in history. Or we talk about God.
The public school evaluated him a few weeks ago, and showed him testing higher than he did before I pulled him out of that school.
But if you think their evaluations give me any kind of warm fuzzy, you're off your rocker.
Some days, I frantically decide that we must be more organized. Lesson plans! Themes! Educational experts showing me how to teach for dummies! More Jesus! More Budda! More Yoga and Carrots!!!
Other days, I realize we're eating waffles at noon and talking about whether the Power Rangers could kick Batman's butt.
I am, slowly, finding good homeschool stuff we can do with other kids. We go to a pool to swim with a homeschool group. We joined a homeschool nature group that does cleanups and tours of forest preserves.
Last Friday night, we went to the Shedd Aquarium to join about 150 families in a lock-in; letting our kids loose in the place after hours. There was a buffet dinner, a dolphin show, games, glow-in-the-dark necklaces, music, and all the exhibits were open - with no lines or waiting.
Bear loved it.
There's this part of me that says - despite the chronic allergies/illness, he's having a good childhood. He's learning, he's (otherwise) healthy, he's happy.
But that part of me can't outweigh the doubts.
The dolphin pool at night.
I get face-painted.
Fish that look like rocks.
Bear's blue-light necklace reflected in the store fronts on our way home. It was so misty out, we drove with our window-wipers on.
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