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Not That I Have Any Business Talking About This

October 24, 2006 | Category: Mother to the First Power



My son is not circumsized.

My beloved grandmother told me this story when we were discussing the topic before Bear's birth: When her first son was born, she considered circumcision for him. Her father-in-law said "Leave the boy's foreskin alone and let him wear it off when he grows up".

Yup, I got all kinds of modest in my family.

Meanwhile, Icelanders as a rule do not circumsize. I personally believe it is because Iceland is damn cold and they need the warmth of the extra layer. My husband says it is because Icelanders are too smart to let anyone near their penises with knives.

So circumcision was a non-starter. Bear's got all his original equipment.

Except. It hasn't begun to be retractible yet.

At his last checkup, our new pediatrician (who we really like) mentioned that guidlines say that she should refer Bear to a urologist for a forcible retraction because it should be at least partially retractible by age 6.

Our reaction? "Oh, hell, no."

But there is a part of me that wonders - has anyone else gone through this? Are we just projecting our discomfort? (Notice the Wikipedia article cites that at least 2 mothers fainted watching their sons go through the procedure. That tells me it is major freaky bad.) Are we possibly imperiling his health?

CD seems more sure than me that we leave all Bear's private parts alone. But it's been 6 weeks since the pediatrician offered the referral, and I'm still going back and forth.


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Posted by: nickol on November 3, 2006 10:11 AM


Don't do it. Foreskins will retract on their own at their own time. Doing what the doctor suggested is like ripping off a fingernail. It will happen when ready.

Posted by: sarcastic journalist on November 2, 2006 12:00 PM


The Ex (being French) was uncirc'd, and I believe he had to have one done when he was a bit older--8? 10? Either way, yeah, he did not have fond memories of it. But I imagine that there was no anesthesia of any kind, it being France in the 70s. And, ok, talk about TMI, but he still had some issues with it as an adult, although it eventually worked itself out. I worry about our Boy having this issue, but nothing so far from the doctor.
I'd go with an opinion from the urologist, I guess, and then see where you go from there. Oy, good luck!

Posted by: PK on November 2, 2006 09:32 AM


Our youngest son just had surgery this summer to treat an undescended testicle. During the surgery the surgeon noticed that our son's foreskin had not yet retracted, so he did it while our little guy was unconcious.

There's still a spot that doesn't retract, though. Our surgeon is a pediatric urologist and he's not in a big hurry to take care of it. If he needs to, he says he'll do an outpatient procedure in his office, with our son being "twilighted", not fully asleep, and with tons of local painkiller.

I guess my advice would be to seek a second opinion from a pediatric urologist. Ask your family doc who he'd get to work on his son's penis.

Btw, neither or our sons is circumcized.

Posted by: paige on October 28, 2006 05:24 AM


According to Wikipedia, some boys aren't retracted until they reach the age of 10. I don't think you have to worry. Nature usually does just fine!

Posted by: Eyes on October 27, 2006 08:02 AM


Go to the doctor. I wouldn't mess around with the safety and health of my son's penis. why take a chance like that?

Posted by: lucy on October 26, 2006 11:09 AM


Go to the urologist and hear what he/she has to say and then make your decision. Sitting at home wondering what to do isn't helping your son, get the information you need from the doctor.

Posted by: LeeAnn on October 26, 2006 10:28 AM


I suspect the retraction has to do with preventing phimosis (narrowing of the foreskin--ouch!) later on, but my take is this: are Bear's parts working normally without pain or infection? If yes, then leave it alone. It may just be a late-blooming foreskin. If he starts hurting or getting infections, then it might be time to consider it.

Posted by: caltechgirl on October 25, 2006 10:53 AM


I have 3 brothers and although I don't know the details (thank goodness) I know that my Father and the 1st brother of mine were not circumsized. They then decided to absolutely have my next 2 brothers circumsized as babies.

Later, as an adult my Dad actually had the circumsision operation... he would have been about 39 or 40 (?) at the time. My oldest brother (and his wife!) both wish he would have been as a baby... they went on to have 3 sons and had the operation for all three.

Forcible retraction sounds AWFUL! But... for the health of the glands I can see where they would feel the need for it to be done. Hmmmm.

Good Luck my dear... I have no answers for you!

Posted by: meritt on October 25, 2006 06:35 AM


The forcible retraction at this age seems a bit much. It can actually cause problems, or so I've heard from various sources. From what I understand, the first person who should retract your son's foreskin, is your son, at some point during adolescence.

Posted by: coquette on October 24, 2006 10:39 PM


Funny you should mention it. Had this conversation yesterday with my husband about if our kid is a boy...circumsize or no? We both decided there wasn't any compelling reason to snip.

I have NO experience to share with you, but I suspect CD is probably right on this one. I would, however, like to know more about it because I have no idea how to take care of the penis of an uncircumsized infant, or what happens as the kid grows up. Since there's a 50% chance I'll need to know, I'd like to know. Ya know? Guess I'll go follow the link...

Posted by: Laura on October 24, 2006 07:31 PM