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Blinded by the... inability to see
October 13, 2006 | Category: Family, It's a Trip
T-96 days to go in my 100 days of Change and I've run into my first semi-major snag.
See these glasses? Well, if anyone finds them - please let me know. The reward is my sanity and my brain, which aches.
I think Flipsy stole them.
Flipsy is the stuffed Mammoth in the picture. He and his twin (yes, we have two) are Bear's favorite stuffed animals. Flipsy 1 and Flipsy 2 enjoy randomly attacking me. Like Kato from the Pink Panther movies, they're always flying out of another room or sneaking up on me.
Usually with a giggling 6-year-old running the show.
In the past, it has been known to happen that there would be the Flipsies, coquettishly cuddling on Bear's bed in their usually place of honor. One of them, oh so casually, wearing my glasses.
(Yes, my son mastered the art of the subtle snark before he could even talk the language.)
But not today. They are GONE. GONE, I said. I've looked in all the usual spots - including their rightful home on the bookshelf.
Man, oh man.
Now, I have often said that I don't really need glasses. My left eye is a little weak, always has been. "No big deal. I can get along without my glasses."
LIE!!
I miss .... my missing glasses.
I needed them to be on the computer 10 hours a day, back in the day. But when I left that gig, I got lazy about my glasses. I mean, besides writing articles and blog entries and helping Bear with his coloring.... what kind of strain did I really have ahead of me?
A lot, as it turns out.
See, Kindergarten is very paper-intensive. No one warned me about this. It wasn't true of Happy Montessori. But Public Kindergarten sends me home the equivilent of a small forest in paper each week.
With itty bitty tiny words. Which I am supposed to read and respond to.
And it is utterly freaking out my unglassed eyeballs.
There is homework, every night.
And an in-school project, every day. And then the 'required' forms - permissions for flouride and pictures and field trips and immunization record reminders.
And then the school notices - assemblies, closings, PTA meetings, athletic games, optional nighttime activities, police notices about safety; town meetings and ward meetings and "hang out with the mayor" meetings.
Don't forget the fundraisers. Oy! He went to private school for 4 years and NEVER did I see the likes of such fundraising. Book sales. Wrapping paper sales. Knick-knacks. And awards for highest sales, that are used to incentivize the children during even mroe assemblies. And deadlines. and daedline REMINDERS. IN ASTROBRIGHT COLORS. Don't forget the pleas for donations of ASTROBRIGHT PAPER.
And if all this wasn't enough, there is my 100-day plan. Which has me finally assembling, reading, and organizing the mountain of paper by my desk. And pitching article ideas. And begging for work.
The good news is - since leaving Mega I think I have popped maybe 3 Tums. DOwn from a dozen a day. The bad news? I am running riot on the Tylenol for my eye-strain headaches.
If this keeps up, I will actually have to break down and buy a new pair. Because to continue on my quest to change a life - I really must be able to read all the fine print.
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