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Grace Under Pressure (The Housework's Lament)
May 30, 2006 | Category: In My Life
It's hard to know what I feel comfortable writing about.
I don't want to alienate my husband.
On the other hand... last week CD complained about the amount of housework I've been doing since I stopped working.
I was stunned.
Because he was, like, serious.
I'm going through a life crisis, redefining my understanding of my world, and you're complaining about the laundry?!
First of all, both of us lean more towards Oscar than Felix. And I have always done more housework than CD. Always, even when he was a stay-at-home dad (which I used to complain bitterly about and then I just hired someone to help.)
I was clear when I told him of my plans to stop workig for a while that I wouldn't not be playing Suzy Homemaker. I told him so right infront of a therapist. And he nodded like he understand and respected my need for some time to repair and take care of me.
Clearly, though, the monster that is his expectations would not be denied.
He brings up "those 5 hours a day when you're doing nothing".
Because, you know, these hours between dropping Bear off at school and picking him up - when not frittered away with errands, dishes, part-time work - should be spent ... vacuuming??
And hey, I have been doing more. Organizing long neglected cabinets and drawers. Decorating. Scrubbing. Just not enough by his scorekeeping.
I want to take him by the shoulders and shout into his brain. That we just started working as a team again.
But I am a grown-up. (Sometimes.)
So I breathe deep and point at the Hoover. Honey, if the rug ain't clean enough for you - then you have all the power in the world to change it.
But no....
Instead, I feel myself being inelegantly shoved in the direction of what he expects of a housewife.
And I thought I only had my own neurosis to untangle.