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A Measure of Progress

February 25, 2006 | Category: Family, It's a Trip



Arizona. CD's company has a hub there. Arizona. A town somewhere between hot and damnhot.

Even though it is a longshot on paper, I know better.

It's karma.

See, I believe that everyone has special kinds of karma.

Bad karma - like my friend whose car has been hit over a dozen times.

And good karma.

My mother, for example, has parking karma. If you have her in the car, you can count on a parking space opening up right in front. Seriously.

A friend of mine has cheap ticket karma. He once went to Paris for a weekend in late summer for $150 roundtrip.

Me? I have job karma. Except for one notable year-long period in my life, I have always been able to find work.

When we first moved into this house, and CD was showing signs of the darkness that later decended, I said to him one morning that maybe I should think about a part-time job.

That afternoon, our new neighbor came out as we were in the yard and offered me (practically a stranger) a part-time job at his company.

CD looked at me and rolled his eyes.

CD does not have job karma. He's brilliant and reliable and talented. Once he is hired, he is the kind of guy that gets lots of promotions and employee of the month or whatever.

When we were pregnant, the law firm he worked at held a big surprise baby shower - for him. He was disgustingly beloved there.

Yep, once hired CD is king of the road.

But getting a new job? ugh.

So it is a very reasonable fear I have that in his quest to make enough money to support this family - we will end up in Arizona. Because these people already know CD. They want to keep him and promote him.

Realizing this the other morning, I began to panic. I started thinking up ways to avoid learning to love cacti.

"Look," I said. "I'll go back to work. Mega will take me back. Then we'll move to Minnesota. A reasonable house, in a good school district. Near a lake and a park. And then you'll look for a new job and once you have one, I'll quit again. How does that sound?"

And his expression turned relieved, and he smiled.

And I breathed and smiled back.

And that lasted for about, honestly, 10 minutes.

Then he looked at me and away. "We can't," he said, finally. "We have to go forward, not back."

"But I don't like Arizona," I argued.

"Maybe I will find something new here."

He put his arm around me, and I rested my face against his chest.

And even though I was a little upset? I was also a little proud. Maybe a lot.

It's taking a long time for us to find our feet, but that moment was a measure of progress. Maybe a small one, but in the right direction.


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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life



Comments


Eh. Arizona is not so bad. A lot of westerners would take the heat over the winters in the midwest any day. So that's something - no more freaking cold winters! And it is beautiful at times.

And....I *so* get it with the laundry. The actual washing/drying is not so bad. It's the folding sorting putting away business that is boring and time consuming.

Posted by: Krisco on March 1, 2006 10:42 PM


I'm in Tucson... not a native to Arizona, though. It's taken me awhile to get used to the desert (particularly the lack of green), but the sunsets are absolutely incredible. And, it's really nice to have 50-70 degree weather while everyone else is struggling with the cold.

I'm not sure where you're thinking of moving... Phoenix has more to do (and is generally hotter) than Tucson.

Anyway, if you end up near Tucson, feel free to drop me an email for some recommended restaurants, places to visit, etc.

Posted by: Rachael on February 28, 2006 01:41 AM


That's a big step. I smiled a little even before I got to the sentence where you said it too. :-)

Posted by: Polichick on February 27, 2006 10:17 AM


Congrats on even being able to think about moving forward and not back. It's progrss. Just pray, God will open any door He wants you to go thru.

Posted by: Melissa on February 26, 2006 11:36 PM


Oh try not to close your mind to the desert -- I grew up in Chicago and remember being aghast when my great-aunt, who lived in Iowa, used to say that "all those trees" on the North Shore made her claustrophobic. After 20 years out west, I now get it. The plane lands at O'Hare, particularly in the summer, and all that green, and all that humidity, and I just start getting short of breath. Give me the clear blue skies, the endless vistas, and yes, even the heat (and I'm a fair-skinned Irish-y girl who grows faint when the thermometer goes over 95). Plus, think of the ethnic diversity, the opportunity for Bear to learn Spanish, the delicioso food, and the gorgeous sunsets ... (and if you hate it, you move again!).

Posted by: Charlotte on February 26, 2006 09:22 PM


Well, it IS a dry heat...

Posted by: Mr. Fabulous on February 26, 2006 04:17 PM


CD is absolutely right...forward, not back. As much as I heartily agree with "nice place to visit, but" in regards to deserts in general.

Yikes. Life has weird twists and turns, and there is a long history of people going to the desert to find themselves. Something about sparse, wide open spaces with lots of sky. And passing through the desert to find the promised land.

There's something almost biblical about that.

Posted by: laura on February 26, 2006 09:26 AM


As someone who went from lush and green (New England) to hot and dusty (Los Angeles vicinity) to lush and green again (Wisconsin), I've been reading about your possible cacti move with NO NO NO in my heart. It's hard, very hard, to leave cool green out of your life.

But that said, there are things I do miss about California: mountains, for one. No humidity. Roses in January. Okay, maybe that's it. But there are nice places out there...it just depends where you end up. (And if where you might end up is Phoenix, I hate to say it, but NO NO NO would probably go back to the top of the list.)

Not trying to freak you out...just letting you know I've been there. The desert can be very beautiful, in a different way, and it too will get into your blood...if you're in a place that will let it.

Posted by: Anna on February 26, 2006 08:03 AM


If the opportunity is there and the move paid for, then consider it an adventure. If you both hate it, then you can always still look to MN. Karma has wierd way of working things out. Good luck

Posted by: Helene on February 26, 2006 07:47 AM


Forward. Not back. Who knows, AZ might just be a bump in the road, a couple of years there and then back to a place with seasons. Or it might not. But going might bring you blessings you can't imagine right now....

We don't know what's ahead, but we can be open to it and embrace it, and appreciate the gifts that the future brings us.

Good luck!

Posted by: caltechgirl on February 26, 2006 02:06 AM


Congratulations on progress. "Forward" could be in a number of directions; you know already that "back" didn't work.

When you first mentioned desert, I thought Arizona, but hoped it might be someplace not quite so hot/dry. There is much beauty there, but it falls in the "nice to visit, but..." category for me.

Posted by: Kimberly on February 25, 2006 07:47 PM