Out of the mouth of a Bear

December 06, 2005 | Category: Well, That Was Random

So I'm driving my son home from school. (Yes. On my expired and non-suspended license.) And a few blocks from Happy Montessori is Posh High School, which lets out the same time as Bear's school.

In other words, I drive along and around hordes and huddles of high school kids every afternoon.

Today it's about 20 degrees outside (F). Bitter cold, blustery with knife-like winds, a dim grey sun, snow rolling in. I've got the heater blasting, Bear's chattering about his new reading class with the specialist and how they're doing 'really cool craft projects' and I'm ignoring my cell phone.

When next to me on the sidewalk I see a guy jogging by in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Sweatpants. And a t-shirt.

In weather so cold that your spit freezes before it hits the ground.

Because, you know. When you're a teenager you actually get endowed with superpowers. Like imperviousness to cold and frostbite.

Oh, but he's cute. Floppy Hugh Grant auburn hair, wide shoulders, flirty grin. He runs up to a gaggle of pretty girls who are wearing what look like big versions of Barbie Winter Party outfits - adorable hats, coordinated mittens, sleek coats, thin jeans, high-heeled boots. Lots of pink and white, with long hair flowing down their backs.

Cute boy jogs into them, grinning. Then turns around and JOGS BACKWARDS into the intersection while chatting to them. In his t-shirt.

The girls giggle and toss their hair and tease him and point to his t-shirt and make concerned faces.

From the back seat, from Bear; "Hey! He isn't wearing his coat! And he didn't look both ways before crossing the street! That's not safety!!"

The guy continues to jog backwards, cars and other pedestrians stop to give him way, and finally he turns around and begins sprinting off with a jaunty wave to the girls.

I shake my head. I do NOT remember being this dumb. I do NOT remember being this blatantly dumb, anyway. Am I old or is this just one of those stunts that make you think a guy is a real piece of work and then 10 years later you realize that the same kid has grown up and gone to Fordham and now he's your boss?

I muttered to myself. Bad thoughts.

From the back seat; "What did you say, Mommy?"

Me; "Uh, I said, look - there goes the future President of the United States of America."

From the back seat; "I don't know, Mommy. I don't think you can be President if you don't watch where you're going."

And this is why, everyday, I thank my stars that I get to be Bear's mother.

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