Not exactly the To-Do list I had in mind

October 05, 2005 | Category: Family, It's a Trip

Stealing a bit from the brilliant Everyday Stranger...

8:29AM Wake up. Realize that CD didn't re-set the alarm when he left for work. I have 60 seconds to get up, get Bear up, and get him the 7 miles to school. 7 city miles. There is no way it's gonna happen. Sure, if I had one of those FLYING CARS we were all promised ...

8:40AM From under the pile of pillows faintly hear Bear shouting "Mommy! It's time to get up." Huh? Hrmf? OK, honey! Just give mommy a minute to get up!

8:45AM Whomp! I have been climbed. By a big giggling Bear. The pillows, they are no defense!

9:30AM I have my 'fat' jeans on and they are tight, people. TIGHT. I am about to chew my own arm off as a weight-loss plan. But thank my stars we are finally gonna walk out the door. Uh, not so fast. Am reminded by Bear that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

9:40AM Am reminded why we sit to eat. Like civilized people. In my haste to herd us out the door, I have caused Bear to now be wearing the most of important meal of the day. Apologize profusely as I head back to his room fo a fresh shirt. Stand there and wonder why I am there.

9:50AM Attempt to leave the house. Bear reminds me that lunch is an important meal, too. Plop him in front of Nick Jr. while I race back to the kitchen and grab peanut butter and jelly.

10:00AM Oh. Dear. God. We never cleaned out his lunchbox from the Friday he got sick, almost two weeks ago. The inhumanity of moldy watermelon! Repress gacking urge as I attempt to wipe it clean.

10:20AM A glance back at Bear as we finally hit the road to his school and I realize he is still wearing blue yoghurt. Gah. Pull into Old Navy with a squeal and run with him to the boys section. New blue shirt on clearance: $4.99.

10:35AM Pull up at his school. There's SOMEONE parked in the only emergency spot. Pull ahead into the tow zone and flip on the flashers.

10:36AM Ring the doorbell and wave at the security camera. Pull the ancient door open with a heave as the buzzer sounds.

10:37AM He's halfway to the stairs when the office lady comes around the corner. "Excuse me! You DID know that there is no school today?"

10:38AM Slight cardiac event as I look around at the empty hallway and realize this is NOT a bad dream.

10:45AM Back in the car on the phone with CD. Reminding him of that bargain we had where I do all the running around he does the scheduling and planning. Growling and snarling. Oh, I'm a joy to be married to.

11:15AM Home again. The place is STILL a wreck because the magic fairies didn't come and clean it. Bitches. Bear looks wearily at the nest on the couch where he has spent most of the last 2 weeks. I rub his hair and promise it will only be for a little while.

11:25AM Wow, I actually have time left in my sick-day bank. Find the courage to leave a message for my HR rep - "You know how I was coming back to work today? Uh, not so much." Wonder vaguely if I will actually be fired or if the grievance I filed will protect me for a while more. Wonder if I actually had pushed the button to disconnect the call before I reminded Bear, for the bagillionth time, that playing with his penis is a private activity and not something boys do just because they are bored.

11:35AM Sing the "Backpack" song with Bear and Dora as I type on the laptop. Stubbornly do not open work mail. Try to get Bear excited about a day spent cleaning the house. From the look he gives me, I can tell that my tight jeans have kept the blood from my brain.

11:35AM Whisper to Bear that we will have a fun day. He grins and we plot a little. Tell him that I am sorry that there's no school. That he has to spend the day with me, again. Feel his small hand slip into mine as he whispers back "That's OK, mommy." Lean down and kiss his head as he tells me that our days together are his favorite.

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