« This Moment | One more for the road »
Roll The Dice
September 21, 2005 | Category: This Old House
It was on a day like this, 5 years ago, that we stood on the street before the big blue house and knew we had found home. (The peeling paint and upturned grocery cart in the yard notwithstanding)....
When I think about how we thought it would be it makes me feel so old, cynical, sad. But this old house has seen some good times, too - Bear was just a baby and here is where he walked his first steps, laughed his first giggle. In the backyard is buried Hammy the Hamster. Near the tomato patch, and the pergola CD built.
The dreams we had for this home are unfinished, and it has been agonizing to contemplate walking away. This old house deserves to be restored to its former glory.
But I have no more miles in me.
I am done.
I have been done for a long, long time ... and yet I held on.
On Saturday, we decided to buy a new-build home in a new subdivision out in the far western suburbs. (Cows and geese and farms and chickens...) We didn't have that bright "Yes!" feeling when we saw it the first time, but we both feel that it is the right place for us, for now. And possibly a good investment.
It is definitely a new start. (When I get Photoshop, or even our home network, working again I will post a picture of our new home. Uh, well, a picture of CD standing in the middle of the dirt in the lot that will become our new home. That is, if the refi on this home goes through so we can put the down payment on that home and then, you know, miraculously still afford Paris and fixing the kitchen and bathroom of this place so it sells in time to close on the new place before we lose the money we had to refi in the first place.)
Uh. I am so nervous that I could throw up.