Oh my - it is so good to hear that we are not alone! 6 years ago this week my husband and I purchased an 80 year old bungalow. about a month after we purchased it we learned that with every rain the basement became a lake - we were never tied into storm sewers. So massive waterproofing, a new roof, new driveway, landscaping, removed aluminum siding and restored to wood, new furnance, water heater. The outside looks great ( but the inside is a DISASTER, we have no storage, making real cleaning impossible. (I, too, have to keep my vaccuum in the dining room)I used to snub the "cookie-cutter" homes, now I understand why people buy them. we've looked at condos that would just require a change of paint and carpet, and would allow us to beautifully display our photos and art prints that we have not been able to hang as we don't have any really "finished" room. I feel like Lisa in Green Acres, that penthouse suite is where I belong!

Sometimes starting over is the clean slate you need and that can be a breath of fresh air that is the beginning of a new time in your life.

Okay, E. What would your ideal home be like? Describe it for me (location, layout, look and feel).

Next, tell me the stops that are in the way from you making the move to this "ideal" house?

Let's work through this. E-mail me if you'd like...

I am with cursing mama, I wish I had known HOW MUCH WORK it takes to get a house into good shape. Every project takes twice as long as you think it will, and with twice as much stress.

Sometimes you just gotta do what is right for your family and you, no matter the cost.

ouch. you do what you gotta do. It's a tough decision, but don't let GUILT factor into it, OK? You take care 'a you.

Do what makes you happy. Your health is the most important thing.

I'm glad to read that your heart is strong; that your spirit is strong is not really news.

And I hear you about the house; there are parts of our old house that look worse now than when we bought it six years ago. There are also parts that look better, but I worry that worse is winning. However, a brand new house will never be in the cards for us unless I get to design it.

If the stress in your life is harming your health, then the sort of large-scale remodel/addition that you've been considering is most likely not the way to go (unless you can move out while the work is being done, but that's pricey). If you already have drawings for a potential remodel (did you ever find a local architect?), they can be used as a selling tool.

Oh, just wanted to say, I know how to spell "redocorating" (sorry).

Also, we were in that house for 3 1/2 year - I just decided after about 7 months that I wanted to move.

Our first house was similar to your house - we fell in love with it at first sight. At the time, I was certain that, "I did not want a new house," rejecting the cookie cutter homes that are so prevalent in suburban Texas, where we live.

Oh, I bought magazines and redocrating software and thought of color schemes, and oh, how much fun this was going to be - and then we realized it was going to cost us about $25,000 to get the kitchen the way we wanted it. I became paralyzed and didn't put so much as a framed photo up after that.

Then things started to break. And after about 7 months in that house, I realized, "I want a new house" - and so we did. To this day, my mom thinks I'm crazy - the old house had "charm" and "more hardwood" - but this house was brand new, has a nice carpeted gameroom for my accident-prone children, a media room for my husband and granite countertops for me.

Life is too short - sell that house and get thee to somewhere that soothes your soul!

It is REALLY stressful to renovate a house. It just depends on how much you can live with, without constantly wishing it were better. good luck.

Can you accept your house as it is? Not thinking about what you would do it if you had the time/energy? Not worrying about the weeds taking over? Pretending that you've painted the worst bits pink and applied a "somebody else's problem" field to them?

It's possible to live like that and be happy. We've lived for at least a year with a gaping hole in the bathroom ceiling where the condensation pipe from the heater froze and backed up into the house. And we just decided to spend the money and get a storage unit for the stuff that is crammed into every corner of the house. But if you can't do it, then find a house that doesn't shout to-do lists in your ear 24/7.

Home renovation is so stressful, and there are lots more important things than money.

I think people have different tolerances for chaos. My husband isn't at all bothered by messes and broken things. He fixes them methodically, one by one, but it never really gets to him. I, on the other hand, go crazy. I just can't live in an environment where things don't work. It's especially difficult if you spend 90 percent of your time in that environment. You can't ever get a break from it.

I find it hard to believe that you'd really be selling your current house at a loss. Real estate has appreciated so much in the past five years. And the study no longer has red stripes, right?

I wish that when we bought our first house (a fixer-upper also) someone would've told us REALLY how much work it is to maintain a house and how much extra work it is to fix it up. I loved that house, but it was a totally draining experience, and we finished up just in time to sell it - so it was only somewhat rewarding.
We sold it and built a new house, one that still has to be maintained, one that still has little projects; but it does have new floors and big closets and room for dishes and none of the projects flash "undone" like a neon sign, it is one of the best things we ever did.