Rainbow Feathers and Me

January 17, 2005 | Category: Family, It's a Trip

We had a 3-day weekend because of the Martin Luther King Holiday. Since we have clearly pissed off someone at Bear's Montessori school, we got to share this weekend with a garrulous bird named Rainbow Feathers.

I am not a bird person. Rainbow Feathers somehow knew this and squawked at me. A lot. All weekend.

3 in the morning, getting myself a glass of water. SQUAWK! Practically dropped of a heart attack right there in the kitchen.

Filling his food tray, hopped over near me and tried to BITE me! When I told him to behave? He SQUAWKED up a storm. And let me tell you, I don't speak bird but I am pretty sure he was saying some pretty nasty things.

I got my own back. I made homemade chicken salad, and ate it right there - in full view of the bird. Heh. Take that. Oh, yeah. You be afraid, you twinkie-sized waste of feathers.

While I was ate it, I kept going with the pot and turned the bones and remaining chicken into homemade stock. The house smelled like chicken soup for hours.

Then the bird looked... I dunno. Don't laugh at me. But, sad. I started feeling pretty bad for being so petty. So I found the bird a treat - some peanut stuff he was supposed to like.

The bird rewarded me by sticking his ass up against the side of the cage and trying to poop on the floor.

How is it that this bird can share a classroom with 20 bright, curious preschoolers and 2 of the nicest teachers you'll ever meet for 3 hours every day and be mean and calculating? Explain that to me.

Rainbow Feathers did not come with instructions. They sent this bird home with us without instructions. All there was in his little overnight bag was his cover and some food.

This was all the help they gave dumbass people like us - who, I kid you not, could not figure out what kind of bird this is. Searched the whole freaking Internet. Looked at more bird pictures than I EVER want to see in a lifetime.

Big birds. Little birds. Birds with funny beaks. Greenish yellow birds. Yellow greenish birds. Birds that sing, whistle, and tweet.

I hate birds.

Couldn't look up instructions if you can't figure out what kind of bird you got.

Which prompted CD to comment that this was probably Rainbow Feathers the 16th. There's a pet store somewhere that keeps Rainbow Feathers clones on hand for that regular Sunday night occurance - the parent running in with a dead bird saying "You got something that looks just like this?"

Otherwise, these 3 days have gone by so fast. For those keeping score - I got 60% of my to-do list done, including a plan of attack for saving my program.

And we also had a lot of fun - cooking, coloring, playing Scrabble (Bear stole all the "B's" because they were his), and enjoying time in the warmth of our family room in front of the fire.

But the best part. And I mean, the very best part. That will be tomorrow morning.

When we take Rainbow Feathers BACK.

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