November 04, 2004 | Category:
Excuse me, Mr. President.
Just a few things, on behalf of those of us that didn't vote for you. And when I say "didn't vote for you" I don't mean, was torn and really agonized. I mean, walk a mile in hot coals to vote for anyone else. Kermit the flipping frog. Kukla . Ollie. Svengooli. The freaky looking chick that is famous for having too much plastic surgery.
We didn't even come close to voting for you. We're snarling with disappointment. SNARLING. When you look into the camera with that pseudo-earnest warm fuzzy look that you think telegraphs "olive branch" all we're think is "Hey! Is it possible he's stoned?"
You are scientifically incapable of warming our cockles or anything else with your speeches. You are having the opposite effect.
In fact, when you say things like "I've earned capital in this election and I'm going to spend it for what I've told the people I'd spend it on" almost half this country craps its collective Levi's in terror.
We're imagining being herded up in pens and strip-searched for contraband - you know, stuff like Michael Moore DVD's and bottles of Napa Zin - before being drop-shipped into a war zone with a neon uniform and a cardboard tank.
Dude, you want to earn real capital? I mean the hard stuff - the goodwill and faith of this polarized country?
C'mere.
Here's what you do. Pay attention now:
1) Recap interest rates on credit cards and the rules around raising them. Federally bitch slap the worst offenders.
2) Do something about Social Security.
3) Don't pull funding for PBS. Leave Big Bird alone.
4) Empower Colin. No shit. Let him go build a coalition after the fact.
5) Get the twins a Prius. Get each of them one. Extra credit if you can get Dick in one.
6) Quietly start pulling our troops out of the Middle East, especially the National Guardsmen who have been compelled there months beyond standard assignment.
7) And, finally, for the LOVE OF GOD, get Osama. Hand him over to the Hague. Bruised a little in transit? Hey that happens. Dead happens too. Whoops.
OK, I've got to get back to my French lessons. Freaking Canadian immigration requirements.
Good luck, Mr. President. We're going to need it.
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Tagged: Corporate, Mommy, Life
No problem!
Stem cell research is a life or death issue, so what could be more important to debate?
My family is adamantly for allowing research - including on discarded fetal cells.
That is not to say that it doesn't make me feel queasy to think about. It is a morally hard issue to contemplate, and I know most people do their absolute best to think these things through with both their minds and their hearts.
And not everyone would come to the same conclusion as you and I, Lex.
The world is a better place when we can discuss these things openly.
Oh, I'm sorry Elizabeth for cluttering your comments with my response to Ted. I believe his stem cell comment was in response to my earlier comment.
I don't like using bloggers comments to carry on with other commenters, so I shouldn't have really responded to Ted's comment in the first place as this were a forum and not your blog! Sorry!
Sometimes I get a little too post happy about things near and dear to my heart.
You always say things better than I do anyway!
Uh, Ted? I have read the facts. I have done the research. And despite that he's done "more" than any other president, he's also limited it more than embraced it. What he's done is tiny little baby steps forward while binding the starting gate to limit real progress.
Very nicely said. In other news....you are moving to Canada?! Yippee!! When and why? Any chance you will make it all the way up here to the Yukon, so you can freeze your ass off next to me?
Here here! And while you are at it, close the borders. And legalize gay marriage...I deserve the same rights as anybody else.
Elizabeth,
You manage to say exactly what I was thinking only so much more clearly... Excellent post.
PS- Those Canadians are looking better all the time, but we will stay and fight for now.
Ted, you brave commenter you (and honored fellow Munuvian);
Yes. Just over half the people who voted, voted for Bush. But remember, just under half of the people who voted, didn't.
That means that this country - this cowboy, proud, strong, loud-mouthed, faithful, opinionated country - is split roughly into half and at loggerheads.
This post represents my (maybe silly) idea of thoughts about reaching out to a fractured populace. I think the President - he who represents ALL of us, ALL of 'We, the People' - should find some way to demonstrate that he is listening to ALL of us. Not just those who voted for him.
Besides being the precept this country is founded on - it just makes good sense. A leader is much more powerful with all his constituency's support - not just half.
Thank you for being brave enough to post. Isn't it nice to live in a country that (well, at least until Homeland Security shuts us up) we can have this dialogue?
/Elizabeth
P.S. I said nothing about stem cell research.
P.P.S. Let's agree to disagree on the National Guard service in Iraq and Afghanistan.
"almost half this country craps it's collective Levi's in terror"
Or put another way, *more* than half of this country agrees with him. Like it or not, he wasn't just reelected, he was reelected with more than 50% of the votes. That makes your positions on the outside, not his.
I like the suggestions you made, mainly because there hasn't been enough logical constructive criticism of this administration. But you also have to remember that your general viewpoint was rejected by more than half of all American voters.
Two more little nits: *all* military sign a contract to serve "for as long as the government requires". It's not fine print, and everyone is told up front about it. A term of service in the military is the *minimum* time you'll be there, not the maximum, and not even the promised amount of time.
President Bush has done more for stem cell research than any previous president. If you're going to make an argument, at least understand the underlying facts. There are research grants waiting to be given out, but unwanted because fetal-cell research has proven to be less promising than adult-cell avenues. The only thing this administration did was deny *federal* funding for new fetal-cell lines (related to it's anti-abortion stand). The original fetal cell lines are still there, federal funding is still provided for them, and nobody has restricted private funding in any way. Senators Kerry and Edwards flat out lied about stem cell research during the campaign, and it pissed off a lot of researchers.
*more applause*
I'm so glad people like you have the capability to put into words how I feel about Mr. Dumb-Ass. I've never hated anyone so much in my life. All I could write in my blog is how sad the whole thing makes me. Thank you.
Jen
I think I just wet myself after reading number 5.
Seriously.
Thank you. You've made me laugh (and you know I really needed that) I couldn't have said it better.
Lord. I was cringing, out and out cringing! when I clicked the comments link, prepared for the bashing I was about to read. I just knew some dillwad was going to smack you down for this post.
But hey, a surprise!
I agree I agree I agree and couldn't have said it better.
And oh yes, please cut out all the bipartisan bullshit. You said that last time, it was a lie. You say it this time, it is a lie. At least stop insulting our collective intelligence.
***Applause*** You go Elizabeth!
Can I add #8 For God's sake, embrace Stem Cell Research! Even the Righties suffer from Diabetes, Alzheimer's, Parkinsons...
Bravo (clap, clap, clap, clap)!
Very well done! My hubby and I have been frustrated ever since the election results came back -- that and by the fact he lost his stay at home-on-Friday work priviledges because of a cranky co-worker.
It just looks bleak -- inside and out right now. Doesn't it?
Go get em!
Mandate, my ass. This is going to be a bumpy four years. Has he started fund raising yet? Seems that started about day two or three last time around. Gotta have enough money for the hateful TV spots.
Amen, Elizabeth. Sadly, I am afraid that Powell may not stay around to be misused, abused and disregarded by Bush, Dick Cheney (the best anti-assassination security Bush could have) and Condi Rice.
Your English is certainly good enough to get you maximum points on the skilled worker status scale. ;-) Votre anglais? C'est certainement assez bon pour...pour... um, back to the books.
