Getting to know you (Questions & Answers)

September 27, 2004 | Category:

Well, this is it. *ahem* So.

Hello, my name is Elizabeth.

I'm new here. To Munuviana, I mean. Uh, did you folks from Bloggerland find this place OK? Sometimes I'm not great at directions.

As I was saying. Cheryl, who was the first non-real-life person I ever "met" through the internet - she was the first to congratulate me when my old wedding site won an award in 2000 - well, anyway Cheryl recently came back from hiatus. And she did this thing where she made a deal -

You show me yours, and I'll show you mine.

Just leave me a note (comment, email) with something about you and any question you want for me. (Scroll down to bottom of entry to see/add your comment. Please.)

Update 9/28: Well, gee - only 5 questions. C'mon, please. Let me have it!

I promise, within my rat rule*, to answer. Really. I hate being the new kid. Hopefully, this will break the ice. So.....

Question #1, from the Cheryl herself.

Question: Without giving a cliche answer like "The Bible" what book has most affected your life?

Answer: Well. I was going to say the Bible. Instead, I'll say Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice". I read it for my own pleasure in my teens and it a hard read - the vernacular was unfamiliar and Colin Firth had not yet made Mr. Darcy a household icon *blush*. It took several passes, and it was pretty liberating experience. After that, I tackled all sorts of books out of the pulp stream. Great question, thanks!

Question #2, from Fredette.

Question: As a corporate manager, do you love working or do you long for free days at home with Bear? Or, since you do work at home a lot (or always --I don't know) are you happy with the best of both worlds?

Answer: If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would quit my job. I would spend the rest of Bear's childhood raising him - that is my dream job.
Otherwise, I love my career (I manage long, large IT programs). First of all, I work from home about 90% of the time - that's amazing flexibility and access as a working parent. Second of all, it's challenging and it gets my brain really pumping. I do have the best of both worlds. Thanks Fredette! Great Question.

Question #3, from Helen, lovely Helen.

Question: My question-if you could be a superhero, who would you be?

Answer: Well, here's the problem. I like being a woman and there are really too few female Superheroes to choose from. WonderWoman was SO hung up on that 'Steve' guy. Plus? She couldn't fly. And, Brrrr! So, I think I would want to be a female SuperMan. I want all his powers and a really cool cape. Thanks, Helen, for a great question!

Question #4, from RP (Who hates cucmbers).

Question: What is your favorite food and what do you dread seeing on your plate at a dinner party?

Answer: Favorite food? Don't have one. Fresh summer tomatoes come close. I enjoy entire meals; my mother's ham casserole, Dee's chicken salad, Thanksgiving, a steak at Morton's! I love FoodTV. Jaime and Alton are my heroes. I do not like liver, although I can handle pate if it's good. And pasta in red sauce in public is a recipe for disaster - there inevitably will be some on my shirt before the end of the night. Thanks, RP - great question. Now I'm hungry.

Question #5, from Tammy(Who is not boring).

Question: Why do you write? What is the driving force behind your blog?

Answer: My best explanation is this: I write for the same reason I married CD, for the same reason I had Bear - because the alternative is unthinkable. I don't know how to NOT write.

The reasons I picked the blog format were; the freedom and the feedback. On my family site, I censor my words very carefully. I realized last spring that miss the column I used to write, the give-and-take with the people who read it, the responsibility I had to write what was true to me. Going back to deadline writing isn't an option, with my life. So after years of reading the blogs of others, it occured to me one day "Duh!" here's an outlet. I'm still finding my voice - I wobble back and forth between rip roaring honesty and precise gentility. There are no rules here. Which is a plus. Thanks, Tammy, for stumping me with a great question!

Question #6, from Mrs Darling .

Question: If you hadn't had children. Do you think you would have very many choices differently?

Answer: If I had known that I wasn't going to set up a home and have kids... if all hope of that had been removed... then I wouldn't have come back to the United States. I left for England in 1994, and took myself on a long world tour. My returning to the US and begining my corporate career was all very deliberate to build stability and a foundation for a family.
Otherwise? When Dinos had said to me, in lilting English, that I should spend my winter with him on the island, spending our days working at his family's tavern and our nights in lust - I would have said yes. In a heartbeat. Thanks, Mrs. Darling, for a great question!

Question #7, from Miss (I think)Anonymous, who didn't vote for the E.R.A..

Question: (And I am paraphrasing) Do you believe that the career woman is the ideal?

Answer: No.

Here's my ideal:
That every parent gets to make the right decision for their child's (or children's) wellbeing.
I think Stay At Home Parents - moms and dads - rock. I will say, with glaring bias, that the SAHM's I know tend to do more homemaking - meal planning, cleaning, financial organization, decorating, etc - than the At Home Dad's I know (or been married to). But no matter the gender, the parenting full-time thing? Really really hard, and really awesome. I wish there was a way to make these choices more feasible for more families. Thanks, Anon, for a great question!

Question #8, from Mr. (I think) Anonymous.

Question: (And I am REALLY paraphrasing) Am I a bitch like every other woman boss?

Answer: Not Anymore.

Bitch bosses come in both genders. And when I got my first taste of power, I was a royal pain. I made some bad decisions. I fired a guy because he wouldn't respect my authority, instead of fighting harder to earn it. I expected mind-reading employees. I didn't mentor. I pulled away from people who didn't treat me warmly, until they ended up quitting or transferring.
And I'm sorry. Those first 9 months, I met all my corporate goals and lost a little of my soul in doing it.
But I have improved since then. People request to work for me, so I guess that is a good sign. I have had some GREAT mentors - of both genders - and I use a lot more respect, kindness, tolerance, communication, praise, and trust. I write recommendation letters before I lay someone off. I promote folks who earn it, and have ended up working for them sometimes. It's a matrixed world. In any given year., I will manage about a dozen people who, in turn, will be managing several hundred more. I keep an open door to all of them. I'm learning. I'm trying. Thanks for the question.

*rat rule, explained, comes from an incident in my childhood:

Excerpt from 7/1/2004 entitled "With all due respect to Bill Murray"

....When I was in high school, there were these two guys. It could be said I dated one or both of them. Depends on your definition of dating. They were buddies and the subsequent chill ('cuz there HAD to be drama) between them and me? It never fully warmed. They got the last laugh, though. As they were graduating, the H.S.'s art magazine published a short story they wrote.

About a rat.

A nice rat, who gets caught and dies.

Maudlin, sad, oh! What of my poor rat family?!

And they named the rat after ME.

No, not my first name. There can BE NO CONFUSION.

My LAST name.

Yeah. They won the "last word" contest there.

So even if I had a head thicker than mahagony, I'd still have been sensitized to what is done in writing.

Glib, sure. Sentimental, pedestrian, even trite. But not careless. Sometimes, it just doesn't matter. Sometimes, it does. I'll do my best to figure out which is which as I go along.

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