Interlude

September 29, 2008 | Category: Well, That Was Random

You know what you need when life's gone to pot? Music. And I've been finding the kind of joy that you have to hum out loud all over the place lately.

So, without further ado.... I would like to thank:

1. Albert Collins. For his uncredited brilliance in 'Adventures in Babysitting'. He manages to steal the show from Vincent D'Onofrio (as Thor!) and Bradley Whitford (and his actual Camaro) with an itchy, echoing blues riff and the refrain "And the girl's probably dead! Yes, it's so haaaard, babysitting these guys..."

2. Yo-Yo Ma. They say he did every take of the Bach Cello Suite No.1 live when he filmed the "Noël" episode on The West Wing. Holy crap. That's all I can say, dude.

3. Harry Belafonte. Sure, sure, his "The World Turns Around" at the end of his Muppets Show episode will make you get all misty. But for me, the brilliance is in the "Banana Boat" song as he gets constantly interrupted by incompetent Muppets and just keeps going with this caramel voice that forces your ass to dance even if the rest of you isn't in the mood. (His reaction to the delivery of eggplants instead of bananas is classic.)

4. Kristen Chenoweth. When she belted "Hopelessly Devoted to You" in Pushing Daisies? I Totally had to go load the entire "Grease" soundtrack into my iTunes. Damn you, Kristen, for making Olivia sound like a wannabe!

5. Hugh Laurie. Actually, it might not have actually been Hugh Laurie. I mean, the guy's a talented musician, I think, but I don't wanna give credit where credit ain't due. So, uh, Hugh Laurie The Commodores. For the opening licks of "Slippery When Wet", which were so brilliantly air-guitared on an episode of House, M.D.

Honorable Mention: The canceled Carpoolers, which I never saw - but has some of the funniest YouTube musical moments around (I DARE you not to laugh as they On*Star the lyrics to "Come on Eileen"!)

Honorable Mention: Matthew Broderick, for lip-synching his way through Ferris Bueller's "Danke Schoen" so beautifully that when Wayne Newton actually sings it, I wonder what he's doing with Bueller's song.

You Have To Go There To Come Back (Part 1)

September 28, 2008 | Category: In My Life

2.5 years ago, I got lost coming home from the bank.

The bank? It's less than a mile from my house. The experience? Scared the shit out of me.

Headaches that had been a growing annoyance became coupled with a sort of sensory fuzziness. It's hard to explain. But getting lost that day forced me to realize that something was really happening to me. I presented myself to the doctors, with the firm instruction that they fix me.

After several false starts at a diagnosis, I was tested from my eyeballs to my kidneys. Test after test gave me reasons to twirl around shouting "EEK!" - but nothing that ever explained the symptoms.

I began to wonder. If the doctors can find nothing, then maybe it was all (Ha Ha) in my head? No, dammit. Something was wrong, but at the same time I told myself that I should hold tight to my place on the wheel. Not lose the present worrying. Embrace the autumn, as the leaves began to turn.

Even though it's been a challenge to slip away from my own words, my own memories, and the people I care about - you'd be amazed how easy it's also been. We humans are magical creatures. We can make anything normal. We are infinitely adaptable - especially to things that happen to us slowly.

This summer, an infection in the base of my skull gave me and my doctors a reason to take a fresh look at what's been happening.

Suddenly, a new pair of eyes told my primary doctor and I what we already suspected. With that came a moment of Grace, when I was offered a way to halt this slide my life has been on.

It's not an easy option. It's a bold, proactive thing. It would demand that I run to the cliff - and jump.

You know, I went to Greece some years ago. A little island no one's ever heard of. Anyway, I was riding my little moped and there was the little cliff and I was feeling bold.

So I went ahead and stripped off my clothes... and jumped.

It was like I was leaping right into my fear. I don't like heights, I've never been thrilled with my naked body, and even worse - as I fell, it occurred to me that I didn't have a plan for getting back UP.

I flew, though. And it was a hell of a thing. A hell of a thing.

But as I waited for that cruise ship to sail by so I could start climbing out of that deep blue sea - I knew, KNEW, I never wanted to do it again.

Ah. Well.